Just a Touch
by taitlin
Summary: Barry Allen is a meta-human with an intimacy problem and he's gone to an extreme to try and solve it. Amidst the challenges of mastering his powers, interacting with his 'partner' and navigating his personal life he might just find what he's been needing all along... AU.
1. Chapter 1

Just a Touch

Barry Allen sat in the office tapping his fingers nervously and just keeping them from fidgeting in super speed. After two months he was finally here, finally ready to move on to the next step. It was what he wanted really, the culmination of so many of the points he'd been working towards; making a proactive decision about something personal in his life, control over his powers in that aspect, learning more about KF-lady…. Iris.

He shouldn't be so anxious. Only good things could come out of today.

He just had to keep saying that to himself. Eventually he'd believe it right?

The door handle moved and Barry whipped his hands into his lap, then stretched them out again along the arms of the chair, then crossed them over his chest, then held them loosely in front of him. By the time the door handle had decompressed fully he'd switched through one hundred and thirty-five different ways of having his hands before realising he was being ridiculous and putting them back how he'd started.

"Ah Mr Allen, nice to meet you again." Dr Wells smiled cordially as he walked into the room.

"Yes Dr Wells, er you too." Barry replied, half lifted out of his seat and then back down again.

"My apologies for the delay. I hope the wait hasn't inconvenienced you too much."

"No, no, not at all," Barry answered, rubbing the back of his neck.

Dr Wells observed him through his spectacles, eyes glinting with what could be amusement. "Enough extra time to increase your nerves though, it looks like."

Barry let out a huff of laughter. "Yeah but I was pretty nervous anyways so…"

"Well let us begin by going over the agreements so far shall we?"

Barry nodded. Business talk, he could handle that. It was time to focus on the practicalities of this.

"As stipulated in the primary interview, the purpose of the match programme is to help young metas like yourself develop and control your powers in all aspects of your life, with a specific focus on an area you have highlighted as of concern to you." Dr Wells briefly looked at something on his computer screen, then turned back to Barry. "Is that still understood and agreed by yourself?"

"Yes."

"Good. So the area you highlighted as a concern was physical intimacy, correct?"

Barry felt blood rush to his face. "Yes."

"Not an uncommon concern for metas I'm afraid," Dr Wells said and turned back to his computer screen. "Unfortunately not one that many wish to rectify with help."

Barry could understand that; it was excruciating to have to sit through interviews and explain that he only lost control of his powers when he was close to being intimate with someone. But it was even worse knowing that he could hurt the person he would least want to because he had a lack of control.

"You have so far complied with the stipulations of the programme?"

"Yes," Barry answered. "I've declared my participation to a family member, nominated a sponsor and had them accepted, filled in all the paperwork you've sent me, attended the interviews and I've been corresponding, via your secure email, with the therapist and the contact."

"Very thorough Mr Allen. Well you've met with all our requirements so I'm pleased to say that you have been accepted onto the next stage of the programme."

Barry let out a whoosh of breath he hadn't even been aware he'd been holding.

"A reminder of caution Mr Allen," Dr Wells said softly, and it was the softness of the tome that made Barry tense up, feeling the weight of Wells' stare. "We here at Star Institute are dedicated to help you solve any problems with your metahuman abilities. We are not a dating service or hook-up medium. Although your area of concern will involve practicing intimacies, Star Institute is here to support the scientific aid of developing your powers within a controlled environment so that you may take that control and apply it to your own real world settings. If at any stage a staff member of the programme believe that is being misused you will be ejected from the programme and the penalty stated in our contracts will be enforced. Understood?"

"Yes Dr Wells. I understand."

"I know this will be a delicate situation for you but to be absolutely, bluntly clear; Star Institute is not providing a woman for you to engage in sexual intercourse. We have found a participant via the match programme who has powers that will negate your own and issues of a similar concern. Together you may work through the practical problems of your concern in a safe, secure location whilst medical and scientific help is nearby. If your intimacies extend to the practice of intercourse that will be a private decision made by you and the participant; is not something Star Institute condones, but it is not what the programme is offering."

"It's not what I want," Barry said. "I mean it is what I want eventually but not with you. I mean, not with you Star Institute, not you, you. I just want to be able to be close to someone without worrying holding their hand or kissing them with give them friction burn or electric shock."

"I understand Mr Allen, I've read your testimonials. Believe me when I say if anyone thought for one moment you were trying to abuse the system you would not have made it this far. But I have to be clear and have to be certain."

"I get that." Barry nodded.

"As I said however, you are through to the next stage of the programme. If you are willing, you will meet your contact today and see how the first session goes."

"Today? Like now today?" Barry said. "My contact? KF-Lady?"

"Yes, your correspondent contact is your partner in the programme, hence your communication over the last fortnight. By your own admission you have both said it has been pleasant to talk with one another and have formed a friendship of sorts. This should offer a good transition into developing your area of concern."

"Yeah, no, it's been great to talk to her," Barry rushed to explain. "I just didn't realise I would be meeting her today…"

Dr Wells smiled politely. "It just got real, hmm?"

Barry huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, you could say that."

"Let's not drag this out now Mr Allen." Dr Wells stood up and motioned for Barry to follow him out of the room.

They headed down a wide corridor that somehow managed to be utterly non-descript yet remind Barry of a hospital; off-whites that should be calming but felt just this side of sterile. Like the decorator had aimed for open and airy, and instead got bland and sanitary. He knew he was hyper-focusing on such a stupid detail but he needed something to let his mind obsess over. What was coming next was huge for his life and he needed to just not over-think it.

He'd made it through so many stages of the programme so far. The last one had felt daunting at the time. He'd been sent an email address through Star Institute's server so he could communicate with another meta participating in the programme. KF-lady was the handle and he'd been emailing her for the past two weeks, starting off with general conversation about the weather and living in Central City and moving on to more personal topics and interests. He felt like they'd clicked and had happily emailed her several times a day and anticipated her replies eagerly. Now though, to meet her in the flesh? To know she had a problem with her powers similar to his own, and what they might have to do to solve their problem and gain control? Barry was all over the place.

And obviously walls and how they were decorated was nowhere near a strong enough thought process to keep his mind from obsessing.

Dr Wells reached a door and led Barry inside. There was a woman sat in front of a desk, a computer turned on in front of her but her attention was on the magazine in her hands. A sofa and a filing cabinet, a small kitchenette and a wardrobe were the only other things in the room. And a big black door on the other side of the room.

"This is the antechamber leading to your private room. You will enter and exit this way only to access the room. Molly here is going to keep an eye on your vitals and if anything is worrying you or you think something is going wrong, you may call her for assistance. Molly will not be watching what you do in the room and will only enter if you ask her too. There is a scanning device in the room but it does not record visual or audio data. We recommend up to two hour sessions. If you go over the time period, Molly will alert a buzzer. The only reason Molly will enter the room is if there is an emergency within the building and we need to evacuate; even then she will follow procedure and sound the buzzer first."

"Yeah I remember the scanning thing from one of the forms." Barry muttered, trying to process all the information whilst not freaking out that there would be a person outside the room the entire time and not think about who could be waiting in the room for him right now.

"Very good Mr Allen. When you are ready, you can enter the room."

"N-Now?"

"As I said," Dr Wells replied gently. "When you are ready."

Barry looked at the big door, thinking sterile and bland had gone out the window and the thing that was left was ominous. Maybe it was a last-ditch attempt to make you question what you were about to do but Barry had come too far to pass this up now.

He took a deep breath and moved forwards. Grab the handle, turn it, open the door and step into the room.

A sofa, a kitchen area, a television and other nice but non-descript furniture were all scanned in his peripheral vision as his eyes focused on the other side of the room, and the occupant that stood as he walked in.

She was here.

AN:

So yeah this is a pretty random idea that was born out of a line of dialogue from a season 1 ep I re-watched recently and the fact that so much of the time it feels like Barry and Caitlin have more chemistry in one look then Barry and Iris do in a love scene. But that's just my opinion. I'd love to hear anyone's opinions on this first chapter so please review.


	2. Chapter 2

Barry had never pictured what she'd look like. He'd started to wonder of course but he had never actually pictured her in his head. He already had one woman in his life who his dream expectations had nothing to do with her reality; he didn't want to bring KF-lady into anything that resembled that mess.

She was tall and thin, willowy was perhaps the adjective for that in a female, as opposed to his own labelling of lanky by so many because of his frame and height. She had brown hair that was long and wavy, almost curls but not really. She had pale skin and light pink lips. Her eyes were round and a deep brown.

She was pretty, really pretty.

"Hi," he managed to garble out, his hand waving lamely before even his super speed could stop it.

"Hello," she answered, licking her lips nervously. "Mr Scarlett?"

"That's me," Barry nodded. "Or rather my handle. You know, the name thing for the email chats. But you can call me Barry. Oh, should I have asked if you wanted to know real first names? Not saying that is my real name if you don't-"

She let out a helpless, nervous laugh. "I thought maybe your babbling on email was a fluke because I can be such a slow typist sometimes."

"Nah, I'm a genuine babbler in any occasion. And pretty quick in any forms of communication too." Barry smiled sheepishly. "Can I start over a little? Hello, I go by the email name Mr Scarlett. You must be KF-lady?"

She smiled at him. "Yes I am."

"Awesome. Would you like to stick with those names or use first names, real or otherwise invented?"

"As much funs as otherwise invented names sound… I'm Caitlin."

"Barry. I'm Barry."

"Nice to finally meet you."

"Yeah, you too." Barry grinned at her and then they lapsed into silence. Awkward first meeting over, he thought to himself, now time for awkward everything else.

The silence stretched on for a few minutes, Barry shuffling his feet whilst Caitlin bit her lip. They both seemed to stare at each other then look away, then stare at each other again.

"So scarlet is a shade of red and red is my favourite colour," Barry blurted. "Which is why I made it my email name. Not very cool of me but it was all I could really think of. Does yours mean anything?"

Caitlin wrapped her arms around herself, almost like she needed the comfort of a self-hug. "It's kind of why I'm here actually. Do you want to sit and we'll talk? About why we're both here. Properly, since we weren't allowed to discuss it in the emails."

"Sure," Barry answered and motioned for her to precede him to the sofa that sat along one side of the square room. They both sat and Barry turned towards her but Caitlin stared dead ahead, her shoulders stiff.

"So KF stands for Killer Frost," Caitlin said briskly. "It was a nickname a friend of my ex-boyfriend's came up with after he saw what happened one of the times we were kissing. Frost because my meta ability is cryokinesis and killer because I 'made it so cold I killed the mood'. His words not mine. It was spread around their group of friends and before long everyone was using it. I couldn't stand to be around them anymore. I felt so negative and then my powers would kick in and make it cold which just reaffirmed what they were saying. I hated it but when I decided to join this programme I thought I'd use it, try and give it some positive power over me instead of negative."

"Wow, that's…. I mean," Barry struggled to say something. "Those guys are douches."

A small sad smile flitted across Caitlin's lips. "Some of them most definitely. But as horrible as it sounds it made me realise I needed to do something about this." She flicked her hands open so her palms faced upwards. "I don't want to live the rest of my life alone and afraid because of these abilities." A light covering of ice, a white mist spread over her hands. "The ability to absorb heat and redirect it as ice, manipulating it however I want to."

"That's-" Barry breathed out, then ducked his head and looked up at her from under his fringe "Are you going to go all killer on me if I say…cool?"

Caitlin pulled a funny face, tucking her hands away but Barry saw the small pull on her cheek; she was definitely fighting a smile. Suddenly it didn't feel awkward at all, not being in this strange room, not the reason they were there or what they could end up doing; it was worth it just to try and make Caitlin smile.

"You don't do that a lot, do you?" Barry asked.

"Talk about my powers? No not really."

"No I meant, smile," Barry said. "You don't smile a lot."

"I wasn't aware I did smile," Caitlin answered, but there was something in her tone, just under the edge; an awareness of her almost-succumb to humour. "Between my profession and my lack of control of my powers a blank expression kind of feels like the way to go."

"I guess that brings us back to this place," Barry waved his hand to indicate the room. "We've both here because of lack of control huh?"

"What's your ability?" Caitlin asked.

"Super-speed," Barry answered. "Or if you want to make it sound fancy then I suppose you could say access to the energy of the speed force."

"The speed force," Caitlin muttered "I read the paper that went online about it a few months ago."

"Yeah it was a pretty interesting read, wasn't it? About the categorisation of all the metas, that some were natural through evolution, some were altered by dark matter and some were hosts to dimensional energies, such as the speed force."

"Dr McGee is a great scientist. She was on my list of who to work for growing up."

"You had a list of who you were going to work for when you were growing up?" Barry asked incredulously.

Caitlin flushed. "I believe we were talking about your powers."

"I'm totally coming back to that at some point," Barry said with a grin. "But okay, yeah my powers. I have pretty good control over them in general, even taught myself some tricks and things that I don't think any other speedsters can do. But I do have a problem with controlling myself in one area."

Barry held up his hand and vibrated it, watching as it moved in a blur and small sparks of electricity leapt off it.

"If I forget or get carried away I could hurt someone, give them friction burns or shock them with too much electricity. And sometimes everything just feels like it's moving so slowly I want to push it along and then that can be dangerous for other reasons too; sickness, vertigo, whiplash. All things you really don't want to happen at an inopportune moment."

"Let me guess," Caitlin said softly. "The area of your difficulty is similar to mine. Intimacy."

Barry rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yeah. The closest time you can be with someone and it's when I can be the most dangerous to that someone."

"Me too."

The two sat there for a moment in silence, both wrapped up in their own thoughts. Barry wondered if she could be thinking anything other than what a moron he was and how stupid it was he couldn't protect those closest to him. Especially the one person that would be closest to him of all people in the world.

"The match programme seems to have the right idea about us at least," Caitlin suddenly said.

"What do you mean?"

"Star institute says that the match programme is about pairing up metas whose abilities will enhance each other to overcome the problem they are facing. Well in our case our powers might enhance each other but in a… personal situation, I think they might actually be closer to cancelling each other out."

Barry frowned. "My speed and your ice?"

"You channel the speed force thereby causing your atoms to vibrate and move at a higher velocity, creating friction and heat as a by-product, correct?"

Barry nodded.

"I create ice by removing heat from the environment around me and redirecting it in a cryo form."

"So the heat I'd create from my speed vibrations…"

"I would be able to absorb and channel as ice." Caitlin finished.

"I shouldn't be able to burn or shock you." Barry muttered.

"And I shouldn't be able to freeze you. Your vibrations from use of speed wouldn't allow any ice to compromise you."

"Because our powers would, if we were using them at similar levels-"

"Cancel each other out."

The two started at each other the implications of what they had just figured out weighing heavily on their minds. It felt real now.

Barry swallowed around a suddenly dry throat.

"The last time I kissed a girl her scarf caught on fire," he said nervously. "I got it off her and away and I was lucky It wasn't her hair but all I can think of now is that. That moment when I was so excited and so full of feelings I just let my speed take over and then it was less than a millisecond and it all went wrong and she could have been really hurt." He gulped again. " _I_ could have really hurt her, just because I couldn't control it."

"It wouldn't have been your fault Barry," Caitlin said, her voice reassuring.

"Yes it would," Barry insisted. "And she said something to me the next day and it made me realise I have to do something about it, not just run away and think it will solve itself, work out the way I want it to just because that's what I want. So I started looking up people to help and found Star Institute and here we are."

"Yes, here we are." Caitlin looked away and bit her lower lip. "But where do we go from here, now we are here?"

Barry looked at her. "What do you think we should do?"

"I guess, test our powers against each other? Theoretically they should cancel out but we're going to need to test that. And here is the safest place for us to do that."

"Yeah. There's medical people and stuff in the other room, you know, just in case. So we're definitely safest here."

"How shall we test it?" Caitlin asked.

Barry looked at her and suddenly all he could think about was the word intimate. It circled round his mind, faster and faster and he was hyper-aware of everything; his thoughts were running so fast it seemed to slow everything else down and energy began to build in currents around him. Caitlin was still looking at him and she was biting her lip, drawing his gaze down. She really was very pretty. A pretty girl, an intimate situation and all his eyes could focus on were her lips, pink and plump. It was all he could do to not lean forward and-

"H-hands," Barry stuttered suddenly. "Maybe h-hold hands?"

"That would be a good base point," Caitlin agreed, nodding her head. "It would allow us to watch the interaction and observe any difficulties whilst still offering a physical barrier to overcome."

"Holding hands is a physical barrier?"

Caitlin shuffled a little on the sofa. "We are practically strangers Barry," she said softly.

"I guess. I mean, the email conversations we've been having just seemed so natural-"

"Whilst under the construct of an unnatural process," Caitlin said. "No matter how easy it is to talk to someone through a medium, meeting them and then having a physical relationship – even in the form of today, which is holding hands – is different and can be challenging. And that's without adding the element of our powers into it."

"Well I knew you were smart before and now I definitely know it so not that much has changed."

Caitlin rolled her eyes and her lips quirked; she was fighting off a smile again.

Barry grinned at her and relaxed. This was the KF-lady he knew from the last few weeks, just now he could see her in person. And she was so much more than she had been through the emails alone. He'd had many different reasons for doing this, for using Star Institute to help him, but now he wanted to help Caitlin too. They were already friends, of a sort, and Barry wanted to see that grow.

But it wouldn't do to jump ahead, as with his speed he was prone to do. So those thoughts that had begun to form earlier would have to be pushed back. No more hyper-focusing on Caitlin's looks, body parts or words that could lead to dangerous imaginings.

They were here to help each. Friends helping each other.

Besides he still had Iris to think about, right?

"Are you ready?"

Barry took a deep breath and then help up his left hand, vibrating it as he felt the speed force move through him.

Caitlin watched him for a moment, an intent expression on her face; something between awe and scientific curiosity. Then she took a deep breath and held up her right hand, cold white mist flowing from it.

Slowly they inched their hands closer together until the tips of their fingers met. A jolt ran through Barry as the cold hit against his hand but it wasn't unpleasant; it was strangely alluring. Caitlin gasped. Then their hands were touching properly, sliding along each other to intertwine fingers and lock together. His vibrations were slower against the ice he could feel Caitlin was generating but it wasn't detracting from him. It was as they had said; their powers were working against each other, perfectly matched.

Barry couldn't help but over his hand against Caitlin's, squeezing her fingers, rubbing against her palm. It sent feelings shooting up his arm and over the rest of his body. It was like pleasurable pins and needles; prickles of sensation rushing all over his skin.

He looked up at Caitlin and watched as she stared at their hands with an intensity that made her eyes deepen. It was like her whole being was pinpointed on where they were touching. The thought sent even more feelings rushing through Barry.

"Wow," Barry said softly. "That feels… I don't think I have the words."

"N-no," Caitlin stuttered. "Me n-neither."

They stayed like that, holding hands, grasping and caressing each other gently with Barry watching Caitlin and Caitlin watching their hands.

"I'm not hurting you," Caitlin whispered.

"We're not hurting each other," Barry amended and grinned when she looked up at him.

And Caitlin took his breath away with a beaming smile.

AN:

Thank you to all those who reviewed! They were amazing to read and it's exciting for me that people are interested in this idea and where this story is going. I hope you liked this chapter and would be grateful for anyone who reviews it.


	3. Chapter 3

AN:

Quick layout note – for the emails part of this chapter the text will be in _italics_.

* * *

/ / /

Barry whistled as he made his way through the precinct. He was currently on his way back to his lab to finish up a report that hopefully wouldn't take more than a few hours because then he was outta here. But not to head home or to go mooch some dinner off Joe like usual. Nope, he would be on his way to Star Institute and another meeting with Caitlin.

After their success at hand holding, he and Caitlin had debated about what to do next. She had argued about holding hands more but in different conditions whilst he had advocated for moving on to something else. In the end she had won, switching between scientific logic and sheer stubbornness to get him to concede the point.

It had been oddly cute.

They'd ended up spending the rest of their time together holding hands in different scenarios; standing, sitting across from each other, around each other's backs as they walked about the room. Any way they could think off that they would feasibly hold hands in a romantic situation and they re-created it. And never had they hurt each other.

It was liberating and exciting and Barry had been incredibly disappointed when the buzzer had gone off to say their time was up. He had very nearly forgotten where they were. But Star Institute had rules and they had to follow them. The disappointment of leaving hadn't been able to dull the elation of what he and Caitlin had managed to do and the potential it offered them.

All he could think about was that it was safe to be around Caitlin. His speed should never be able to hurt her because her powers would counter-act it; speed and cold were opposites and in their case pretty near equals.

There was one lone thought in his head that all they had done was hold hands, a very pedestrian action and one he'd managed to do with others in different situations; introducing himself to a colleague, meeting up with friends. But he'd never been on edge in those situations. Never felt his emotions so close to the surface and so intense. And that was when his loss of control happened, when his speed seemed to take over and he just reacted. In the room with Caitlin he'd felt on edge and nervous and excited and a whole load of other emotions. Yes, he'd been in control but there had been potential for him to lose it and now he knew that she would be alright if he did.

Which led his mind to think about what would most likely lead to a loss of control and then wandering off in a direction that was not helpful.

Right now though, he had to focus. He wanted to be out on time tonight and that was hard enough on a normal day due to his innate ability to be late for everything. Something which although his super speed helped with, it didn't stop. Though his speed would help with writing the reports that needed to be done.

Technically metas weren't supposed to use their powers unless their job stated they needed to do so and they had a special license. There were healer metas who were specialised doctors and tech metas who were paid enormous sums to work for the bigger IT companies. And then there were metas whose powers had nothing to do with their jobs or daily lives. He guessed he fell in the middle as he wasn't supposed to use his powers – no license for him – but the captain definitely turned a blind eye when they wanted a report finished as quickly as possible. And Barry's quick as possible was _fast_.

He wondered what Caitlin did. He knew she was a scientist, they had discussed too many geeky topics to not know that. But they hadn't shared any specific details. They weren't supposed to, a rule imposed by Star Institute as a security precaution to help protect the programme and their privacy. Maybe now they were partnered up properly and things were going well that rule would change? Barry wanted to know Caitlin. It already felt like they were on the verge of friendship just through their emails, now it was open to so much more.

"Barry!"

Barry stopped with his foot on the bottom stair, swivelling his top half to see Joe striding toward him. Normally he would head over to the older man but today he had to stay on task; if it was work related Joe could talk to him, if it was personal he'd have to save it until the weekend and the West's Sunday dinner.

"Have you logged the shoe prints found at the burglary yesterday?" Joe asked as he reached him. "We have a suspect who's alibi was he's been driving all night but as the incident happened at sunset it really means he's still wearing the same clothes. If the shoe prints are on the system then we can compare them to what he's wearing now."

"Yeah, they're on the system. I updated it this morning so you should be able to print off an image and do a comparison," Barry answered. "He really gave an alibi that actually implicates himself?"

Joe rolled his eyes. "There's a reason he's a two-bit crook and not the head of a criminal gang."

"Ok, well I'll see you later."

"Hey, wait a minute. Aren't you going to help?"

"I sorta did just help, by telling you how to get the prints off the system?" Barry asked as he started sidling backwards up the stairs.

"Ok," Joes said, giving Barry a strange look. "But as the forensics expert shouldn't you come and do the comparison?"

"Well you're perfectly capable, getting really good at this science stuff now really," Barry started to babble. "I'm sure you'll be fine and detect what to do, because you know, you're the detective. And I'll just be upstairs finishing off my reports so I can leave on time. Well, see you later!"

Barry didn't speed up the stairs because that would have been frowned on but he moved very quickly.

Rushing into his lab he went straight to his computer to check the status of his reports and which ones had been flagged as priority and that had to be done tonight. He knew there was one he had to definitely do but the others should all be able to wait. Scanning through the files he suddenly had an email alert ping and his heart picked up pace when he saw it was from Star Institute.

Quickly opening his email he read over the standardised lines that stated a personal message had been left on his Star Private Messaging account. He pulled up the page and typed in his login details, tapping his feet nervously as he waited for the account to load. There were only two people who had ever private messaged him; Dr Wells and Caitlin.

The page finally appeared and Barry's heart sank.

 _KF-lady has posted a message for you. Title – About Tonight._

Now torn between wanting the message open right now to find out what she was saying and in no desperate rush in case she was cancelling, Barry hovered over the track pad. But indecision never worked out well for him so he nevertheless moved the mouse to select the convo.

 _Hi Mr Scarlett (it feels strange to type that and not your name, now that I know it, but I suppose we keep up with pretenses in email?)_

 _About tonight, I was thinking we should maybe have an agenda for the meeting? It would save us valuable time to have a schedule of positions that were pre-agreed upon so we can make the best use of our time together. Let me know your thoughts._

 _KF-lady_

Barry let out a breath that she wasn't cancelling and seemed just as eager as he was to meet up again. Alright it wasn't in the words, but Barry would bet if he had watched her type that message she would have been biting her lip or just managing to keep a smile from tugging at her mouth. He felt he knew her that much already. And although he agreed with her that pre-planning was a smart idea, she'd left him an opening to tease that he just couldn't resist.

 _Positions KF-lady? I didn't know you wanted to move that fast, what with speed being my speciality. ;) But let me know whatever you're up for._

He hit send on the message before he could let himself overthink it too much and then tried to get back to his work. After all she might not be near her computer now so it might take awhile before she responded. He took himself to the microscope and told himself to concentrate. As he stepped away to prep another slide to run a test a ping sounded from the computer behind him.

 _I think you know what I was speaking of. And for future reference a lady never likes to hear about how speed is a man's specialty – it doesn't imply future feelings of enjoyment._

 _Back to the point, would you like to decide on our next step together or shall I make a schedule for us?_

Barry grinned at her response. One of the first things he'd loved about getting an email from Caitlin was how she seemed to be so many things at once; she could easily rebuff an argument he made, respond to a joke and redirect them back to where the conversation had started if he'd taken them off track. It had made conversing with her really fun and now he had an image of her in his mind it was so easy to imagine her facial expressions as she read a comment of his or complied her response.

And responding to her was so easy.

 _Would you actually make a schedule…?_

Quickly checking that nobody was anywhere near, Barry sped around his lab, prepping slides, ordering papers, re-stocking supplies and generally tidying up. He had a few more things to do for his last report but it was mostly test based and as fast as he was he still had to wait for the machines to do their thing in their own time. But everything else that was within his ability to speed up was going to be done as fast as lightningly possible.

Although it seemed improbable because it was already pretty high, his excitement level for tonight had doubled.

The ping sounded again.

 _Don't tempt me._

Barry snorted. "I just bet."

A grin pulled at his face but as he thought of what to say it faded slowly. His hands hovered over his keyboard thinking of what he wanted to put. He knew what he wanted his next step to be; it was what he'd argued for last time though he hadn't got around to saying it. A hug was a good next step. It was close in physical proximity, alluding to intimacy, but could also be used between friends.

Part of Barry knew that if he saw the programme all the way through to the end he would be practicing intimate relations with Caitlin. But another part of him just couldn't believe that was true; it seemed so preposterous. And as much as he felt a friendship with her they were, in reality, still getting to know each other, barely past the point of strangers. He knew he had super speed but he definitely didn't want to rush through this too fast.

Although would it be better if they did rush through? The point of the programme was to increase their control of their powers when in a particular situation – in his and Caitlin's case, intimate situations. Here he was thinking about friendship and getting to know her better but that wasn't why Star Institute had paired them up. As Dr Wells had clearly stated, they were here for the science, not the personal side.

Barry shook his head and told himself to stop over-thinking. He'd never been able to just sleep with someone and that wasn't about to start now. Besides part of his problem was caring too much about the person he wanted to be intimate with so for this to work he needed to care about Caitlin at least a little.

He didn't think that was going to be a problem.

But what to put back to her?

 _Okay, okay, I take it back. I think we've mastered hands definitely. How about a hug? It's full body, close physical contact, can be intimate but can also be just between friends. What do you think?_

Barry hit send and then pressed the mute button on the computer. Time to get his head on straight and concentrate on something else. He walked around his lab checking slides, comparing test results and compiling the report, all the while ignoring the niggling instinct to check his email. He needed to focus on work for now and get this report finished.

His resolve lasted seven minutes.

Another message waited for him.

 _That's a good idea. I think that would be a logical next step and agree with your arguments. So tonight we will focus on hugs. I will bring a list of potential hug scenarios so we won't waste time arguing like last time. See you later._

Barry couldn't help the grin that took over his face. There was just something about Caitlin that he responded to. And he couldn't wait to hug her for it.

 _Great. See you tonight._

The grin stayed on his face pretty much for the rest of the day and definitely earnt him a strange look from Joe but he just didn't care.

He left the precinct on time, managed to hail a cab without having to be almost run over first, and gave the driver the Star Institute address. He tried running his hands through his hair to give it a semblance of looking alright but Barry knew one of his nervous habits was raking his hands through it so he was probably just messing it up more. He hadn't thought to bring a spare set of clothes to change into but today had been all lab work and no field so at least he didn't have any strange substances all over him.

He wondered what Caitlin would be wearing. Something that would give him a clue to her profession maybe? Or a slogan t-shirt with her favourite band on? This seemed less likely, even in his thoughts.

The cab made it to Star Institute and Barry did the usual procedure of signing in and going through security before he made his way to their room. His breathing had sped up and he tried to calm himself down.

'We're just going to hug,' he thought to himself but he had to stop before the door to the antechamber to make himself relax. Giving himself a nod he walked in, gave a flustered 'hi' tot eh woman reading the magazine at the desk and then walked into the room.

Caitlin was already there, sat at the table just off from the centre of the room. She was writing something down and Barry knew if he bet any money right now he'd make an easy return on it being the list of hug scenarios. She hadn't heard him enter yet, the door's soft hinges working in his favour so Barry took a second to study her.

She was wearing a cream top the seemed to droop at the front before being wrapped around the waist and a blue pencil skirt. Her hair was down and falling over one shoulder as she wrote. Barry knew he should say hi, make his presence known and start discussing the list but instead his impulsivity took over.

The door closed behind him, the soft hinges finally making a sound as a thud echoed in the quiet room. Caitlin's head began to rise as she responded to the noise and Barry moved.

He sped across the room, pulled Caitlin up from her seat and wrapped his arms around her waist, tugging her tight against his body. His electricity crackled along his skin and swept over Caitlin's, static moving between them. His nerves felt on fire as Caitlin's weight settled against him, her body tucked close to his. Her sharp intake of breath blew out against his neck and shivers raced down Barry's spine.

Time seemed to slow and hold as Caitlin's eyes settled on his, a look of surprise and longing fluttering across her features. Barry's breath froze in his lungs as he reacted, feeling how close they were, as his eyes flickered down to Caitlin's lips, his hands tightening their hold on her waist. There was something racing between them. A current that was alive and powerful. A feeling that was intense and potent. His lightning surrounded them and seconds dragged as Barry stared down at her.

He'd never felt anything like this before.

Barry shifted and opened his mouth to say something, he didn't know what but he had to speak, acknowledge this somehow. But time snapped back into focus.

And ice flared, chasing after his lightning.

* * *

/ / /

AN:

Thank you for all the great reviews. Work has been incredibly hard this week and I've really wanted to get this next chapter out so getting reviews from you guys has been so supportive. The physical aspect of this story is going to get more prominent in the next few chapters so the rating will be going up, not sure when but we're definitely on that path now.


	4. Chapter 4

AN:

Thank you for the amazing reviews, especially to shyesplease, ShanouNash, Cardi-like-it and wynteralchemyst for reviewing every chap so far! Hearing what people think is really great and I love it :)

And now for the story. We're picking up right where we left off...

/ / /

"Ah!" Caitlin gasped and ice shot out from her hands, racing up his arms and across his shoulders from where Caitlin had reflexively grabbed him.

"Caitlin it's me," Barry said trying to pull her against him, desperately wanting that static closeness feeling back.

"Barry. What are you doing?" Caitlin said as she resisted his hold. The ice began to grow, the light covering on his arms turning into small icicles. The temperature in the room dropped significantly.

"I'm hugging you," Barry replied softly, flexing his hands gently, slowly. "Guess I did it a bit too fast and surprised you."

"That's one way of saying it!" Caitlin retorted, her whole demeanour shaken.

The room was still cold and the ice seemed to be growing, the icicles developing wicked sharp edges, some curving upwards whilst others curved down to meet his clothes. Barry could see Caitlin's skin pale and her hair was lightening at the tips, changing colour; brown to blonde to white.

"Sorry, I'm sorry but it's just me," Barry said. "It's Barry. Are you okay? You're changing."

"C-Changing?" Caitlin's hands flexed on his arms and the ice grew. Barry could feel it pressing on his skin now. "I'm losing c-control. I'm going to hurt you!"

"No you're not."

"Get away from me Barry! Run!" Caitlin gasped. She didn't move and Barry instantly knew that she was shutting down, turning in on herself, directing the power inwards. She didn't want to hurt him so she was trying to take it all on herself, to make her take the brunt of her own powers. She was freezing herself in.

"You won't hurt me Caitlin," Barry replied and started to vibrate, shattering the ice that was covering him. "And I'm not going anywhere. This is my fault."

Heat began to coil around him as his electricity raced down his arms, his atoms moving at an almost impossible pace. He could feel the freezing mist coming off Caitlin hit up against it and static shocks pulsed off the pair. But Barry didn't pull away, in fact he pulled closer. He needed to calm Caitlin down and warm them both up.

"Does deep breathing help you?"

"What?"

"Whenever it looks like I'm about to lose control, Joe, my foster dad, he tells me to take deep breaths," Barry said, his voice slightly distorted due to his vibrations. "It can be kind of patronising but he means well. I don't want to patronise or offend you though so I thought I'd better ask first before telling you to do something."

Caitlin choked out a desperate laugh and shook her head. But Barry was a focus on the positives kind of guy - she had laughed.

"What can I do?" Barry asked.

"Ironically, seeing as it's how this all started, your hug is helping," Caitlin replied and Barry could see her hair was back to its normal shade of brunette, well at least what he had seen was normal for her.

"It's no problem for me to keep hugging you." Barry adjusted his arms, one wrapped around her waist and pulling her tight against him, whilst the other ran up and down her back.

Caitlin's hands relaxed against his forearms and gently ran up to grasp at his shoulders. She settled her head into the crook of Barry's neck and he could feel the wisps of her breath against his skin. Shivers of a different kind than cold wanted to coarse through him.

He slowed down his vibrations until he was standing with her normally but the static heat still surrounded them, trapped between their bodies and clinging to them as they stayed close together. Barry became hyperaware of everything around him, the coils of electricity in his blood, the cold particles in the air, and Caitlin's slowly relaxing body against his.

She was soft against him, perfectly pulled in to the hollow of his neck and lined up against him. Their powers may be opposites of each other, but their physicality's definitely complimented each other.

They stood like that for a few more minutes, not speaking or moving, just standing together, wrapped up in a hug.

Caitlin eventually shifted her weight and Barry knew she was pulling back, about to pull away. He reflexively tightened his hold on her before forcing himself to loosen up. Caitlin smiled up at him as she stepped away but her eyes didn't quite meet his and it was a forced expression, one he could imagine her giving to a colleague or a stranger she walked past.

She moved away and stood the other side of the table where she'd been when he first came in. Barry wasn't sure what to do so he stayed where he was.

Minutes ago he had been wrapped up in this amazing feeling with this beautiful woman, never wanting the connection between them to end, and now all that was in the air was awkwardness.

"I'm sorry I startled you," Barry said, needing to do something. And hey, talking couldn't make it any worse, right? "I guess I got a little caught up. I just saw you there and thought 'I get to hug her' and then I just went for it. My speed… well, uh, sometimes I forget that not everybody else can feel things the same time I can."

"It's fine Barry," Caitlin said.

"It's really not," he answered. "I'm sorry."

Caitlin nodded but she still wasn't looking at him.

"Our powers can definitely cancel each other's out," Barry added. "So that's good to know, you know, for absolutely certain."

Caitlin's head dipped in his direction and hope flared in Barry but she just gave him that forced smile again, eyes somewhere off over his shoulder, and turned back to the table, arranging the papers that he had displaced with his speedy entrance.

For a few minutes the only sound in the room was the shuffling on the table.

"Ok, I can't stand this," Barry burst out. "I'm really, really sorry. I do stupid stuff when I get too excited and that happens really easily for me anyways, let alone when you add in my speed to fasten everything up. I didn't mean anything bad by it I just-"

"I said it's fine Barry," Caitlin interrupted, a slight edge to her voice. "Let it go."

"Not if it's obviously upsetting you."

"Let's just move on, shall we? We'll discuss this situation like logical people and decide the next step to be taken together-"

"You make it sound like a science experiment."

"If that analogy helps us maintain a proper procedure by which to conduct ourselves-"

"By making it all impersonal?" Barry asked incredulously.

"If that's what is needed to maintain a semblance of control, yes."

"That's not going to work! The whole point of us being here is about what happens when we _lose_ control. And I'm not doing anything until we talk about what I did and you accept my apology."

"Apology accepted Barry. Now leave it alone, it's done with."

"It doesn't feel done with," Barry said hotly. "It feels like you're trying to overcompensate with rigid control now because you weren't in control a moment ago."

"Fine! I lost control! Is that what you wanted to hear?!" Caitlin snapped, turning to face him, her body stiff and eyes glaring. "I couldn't process the stimuli and I didn't know what was happening and what did I do? I started to ice everything! I could have just asked you, the second I knew it was you but oh no. The cold just takes over me, makes me shut down all feelings but the negative ones. I would have kept going until you were nothing but an ice statue! First hug in over a year and I-"

"Wait, you haven't had a hug in a year?" Barry asked.

"Nobody wants to get close to Killer Frost," Caitlin answered bitterly but there was hurt in her eyes.

"I don't see Killer Frost," Barry said gently. "All I see is Caitlin."

She looked up at him then and there was such an expression of desperation, of unrequited hope in her face that Barry almost flinched. He suddenly realised that Caitlin must have downplayed what she'd really been through when they were telling each other how they got here and what they wanted out of the programme. She'd been hurt badly and she seemed to be putting all her faith in this programme. And what had he gone and done? Spooked her and almost reinforced her own bad ideas about her powers and herself.

"You can't hurt me," Barry said.

"We talked about our powers cancellation of each other theoretically," Caitlin replied. "And yes we had success with holding hands but that was in such a limited scope and controlled conditions."

"You don't trust it yet," Barry said softly and Caitlin looked away guiltily. "That's ok you know. We've only known each other two days and it's all well and good getting caught up in the excitement of the possibilities – and I think you'd know by now that that's exactly what I'll be doing – but there's still the reality of what we've been living with for however long. We can do this whatever way you want Caitlin."

"I just…" she started.

"It's ok really," Barry said earnestly and moved closer to her. "You make us up a schedule and we'll do things at your pace."

"That's not fair to you."

Barry shrugged. "What happened earlier was my fault so…"

Caitlin shook her head. "No, no, we're not having this all one way. We're supposed to work through this together, a partnership Barry."

Barry grinned at how adorable she looked, fierce determination written in a scowl across her face.

"How about we stick to our strengths then?" Barry asked. "You make us up a list or schedule and we'll follow it like good scientists but anytime I think we can move it on I'll do it. You shouldn't react again because you'll know on some level of consciousness that I might do it and I promise I won't do anything unless I think we're both feeling it."

"That sounds like a reasonable compromise." Caitlin said slowly.

"You'll be the logic and I'll be the feels," Barry said grinning.

Caitlin huffed out a small laugh. "That was really cheesy."

"Made you smile," Barry retorted.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed one of the pieces of paper on the table. "So shall we start?"

"Hey Caitlin?"

"Mm-hmm?"

"I'm feeling you could do with another hug right now."

Caitlin looked up at him sharply, a myriad of emotions flashing across her face, but she nodded.

Barry stepped towards her slowly, suppressing the coiled lightning in him, the feeling of just wanting to rush over there. He slowly reached his arms out and slid them along Caitlin's waist, the friction of his skin against her skirt sending prickled up his arms. He grasped he waist, his hands spanning her soft muscles and gently squeezed, tugging her forward into him. Caitlin stumbled a little, her body brushing up against him before she settled in place. He head seemed to naturally find his shoulder and rest in the crook of his neck. The slight puffs of her accelerated breathing danced along his skin. He arms raised up and wrapped around his shoulders, her fingers finding the back of his neck.

They stood like that for many minutes, not saying anything, not using any powers, just standing as close as they could, together. For once Barry didn't find the time slow or dragging. He just held the woman in his arms with as much care as possible.

/ / /

AN:

So this turned out a little more angsty than I had planned but I think they needed to get over this hurdle before they could move forward. Does mean rating change has been pushed back a little… Please review and let me know what you think!


	5. Chapter 5

AN:

So I tried very hard to make the science jargon used in this chapter coherent and make sense but I'm not a scientist so please excuse any mistakes (or if you are a scientist give me some advice on how to word it better?). Also there's a little dedication in here as I simply adore eccacia's 'The days AR when I would shy' story (if you haven't read it you are missing out!) and I've reused a science term that she used in one of her chapters because it fits here for the purpose of this chapter whilst also being a little shout-out to that fic.

/ / /

Barry pulled Caitlin a little closer and sighed into her hair. It felt so good to be this close to someone and be utterly relaxed. He knew Caitlin was still thinking of their powers logically and how they couldn't know for certain that they wouldn't hurt each other until they had tested every scenario but he felt in his gut that they would be ok.

He was quite happy to just stay like this for the rest of the session. Somehow he didn't think Caitlin would go for that though. And as if she could hear his thoughts she started to shift against him and pull back a little.

She smiled shyly, bashfully ducking her head against him when he leaned back to look down at her, still keeping her in his arms though.

"I, um, think we've proved frontal hugging works," she said. "That it's safe I mean."

"Ok," Barry said, a grin pulling at his lips.

"Perhaps we should consult the list to see what to do next."

"The list you were working on when I came in?" Barry asked.

"Yes," Caitlin replied. "I was trying to think of every scenario where it would be acceptable or presumable to hug. So that we could recreate those situations and test the level of intimacy involved. And I also listed the types of hug that might be used."

"Alright, sounds good."

"Barry?" Caitlin looked up at him.

"Yeah?"

"To get the list I have to be over by the table," she said, shrugging a shoulder in the direction of it, not too far from where they were standing. "So you have to let go of me."

"Oh! Right." Barry squeezed Caitlin's waist one last time before sheepishly stepping back.

Caitlin quickly moved away but not before he saw the slight blush on her cheeks.

"If there's anything you want to add just say so and I'll put it on here as well," Caitlin said as she handed over a sheet of paper to him. "Or you can write it on yourself. I don't have to do it all."

The Star Institute letterhead adorned the top of the page whilst neat writing occupied the space below. She had managed to fill most of the paper, with a description of a hug, followed by the physical elements, followed by an explanation of why they would use that type of hug. Barry scanned the page quickly and whilst most of the hugs seemed platonic or casual in nature there were a few that weren't and of course, they were the ones he immediately started to imagine experiencing with Caitlin.

"As we've achieved a stable experience with frontal hugging in a, let's call it close relations, situation we need to decide whether to work up from that position on the list, or if it would be more prudent to start at the beginning and progress through the list, thereby managing every scenario listed. If we were following scientific procedure we would set the null hypothesis as there being no significant difference between our hugging position and our power interaction."

"So we should start at the beginning of the list and work our way through it," Barry summarised.

"That would be objective and give strength to any conclusions we draw from the different scenarios and hugs. I mean, not everyone likes to be hugged the same way so at some point we should hit a level of discomfort and thereby possible trigger a power."

"Or reach a level of intimacy that causes our powers to react," Barry said, watching Caitlin closely for a reaction. And she didn't disappoint.

Bottom lip was tugged down as she worried at it. "Of course."

"So it says here 'platonic one-arm distance hug; a hug you may give to a colleague or someone you don't know well but need to congratulate or connect with – such as a co-worker receiving praise, a friend of a friend upon hearing good news, a distant relation moving house, etc'." Barry read from the page, impressed by Caitlin's thoroughness on her list. "Should I pretend to be an awkward neighbour or something then?"

"I don't think we need to pretend or act anything out, just perform the hug as you would," Caitlin answered. "And keep in mind how it might affect us or how we might have to do it in the future with someone else."

"Ok." Barry said and stepped forward, slinging an arm around Caitlin's shoulders but keeping all over parts of their bodies from touching. "Like this?"

"This is the hug scenario outlined yes."

"How do you feel?" Barry asked.

Caitlin made a face, her nose scrunching up and eyes narrowing slightly and Barry could tell she was thinking. After a few seconds of standing in silence she finally replied.

"I feel calm and content, no powers sneaking up on me. I think this hug is safe."

"Right, next one," Barry answered, swinging his arm down to consult the paper. He focused on it more than he really needed to but he didn't want Caitlin to see anything in his eyes. After their intense hugs earlier that one had barely done anything for him but he knew Caitlin needed to do it this way and work her way up to the more intimate stuff.

"Up next we have 'platonic two arm, close hug; a hug you may give someone in greeting or farewell'."

Barry put the paper on the table and then held both his arms u, outstretched towards Caitlin. He didn't want her to get spooked again so thought he'd make everything as visual as possible. Caitlin nodded and moved towards him, stopping just as their bodies were about to brush together. He slipped his arms around her shoulders but kept the hold loose and Caitlin lifted her arms up around his shoulders from under his arms. They held like that, staring up at each other and Barry couldn't work out what she was thinking.

Her eyes were big and focused right on him so she was definitely thinking about something, whether about him or the hug he didn't know. This hug felt better for him, he definitely preferred being closer to Caitlin. There was no intense static around them, no bubble they'd encased themselves in this time but there was warmth and care.

"Well?" Barry asked.

Caitlin bit her lip. "I feel fine, good even. I'm just wondering how, or if, I'd feel with a different person."

"Imagining I'm someone else?" Barry tried to joke. He should have been able to joke, his tone sounded teasing enough but his stomach felt heavy at the thought that Caitlin wasn't looking at him. Or rather, looking at him and seeing someone else.

Which was none of his business really. They were partners for the experiment, nothing more. No matter what he felt like in odd moments.

Besides, while he definitely wasn't thinking of anyone else when he was with Caitlin, wasn't his decision in coming here to the programme driven by someone else himself? Iris was always in the back of his mind even if she had no bearing on his current situation. It wouldn't be fair of him to not allow Caitlin her own person with that reasoning.

That was the logic in him talking, not the feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"No of course not," Caitlin scoffed and it took a second for Barry to catch back up. "But I need to know that whatever results I can achieve with you I can replicate with someone else."

"Spoken like a true scientist," Barry teased.

Caitlin looked away and Barry instantly knew she was fighting an eye roll. Whatever had happened to her in the last year that meant she hadn't had a hug also seemed to have hardened her to emotional reactions and humour. They were still there, she was still clearly feeling things, but she had trained herself to not let anything show.

Even if they couldn't get to the stage where they could use their powers safely whilst intimate Barry vowed to himself that he would get Caitlin to open up, to react and to smile whilst with him. She needed someone to be herself around so she wouldn't get lost, trapped behind that icy façade she'd created. And he was more than willing to be that person.

"Time for the next hug?" He asked.

She nodded and stepped away and he reached for the paper again.

"Ok so following 'two-arm platonic' we've got 'two arm, physically touching up-close hug; a hug you give to comfort a friend or to welcome a close relative or friend after not seeing them for a substantial period of time'. Ready?"

Barry lifted his arms again but only wrapped one around her shoulders, the only slipping to the middle of her back as he pulled her in close, up against him. Caitlin's arms dipped under his, wrapping around his waist loosely.

Barry shifted his head so they were side on to each other, looking over each other's backs rather than straight on. He didn't want to question why he didn't want Caitlin looking at him like she was a minute ago again.

"Is this alright?" Caitlin asked and Barry knew she'd picked up on his move, even if she didn't know that reason behind it.

"Yeah," he said softly, squeezing her gently to prove it. "Though maybe we should move on from here?"

Caitlin shifted against him nervously. "What do you mean?"

"We've done all the other hugs from standing, maybe we should transition into the next hug," Barry turned to face her, his nose grazing the side of her cheek and she gasped, a blush stealing over her pale skin. "I know you hug someone from standing normally but it would make it more intense for us and as we're trying to work on the physical intimacy we experience in relation to controlling our powers maybe that's the way to go?"

"It would be a lot more physical," Caitlin mused.

"You already wrote down lots of physical hugs," Barry said, his fingers itching to play with something, to move so he didn't feel as anxious; normally he'd rub his neck or play with the cuffs of his shirt but Caitlin's skin was right there… "You listed lovers' hugs."

"I tried to list every hug situation I could think of," she replied and he felt her jump slightly as he lost the battle to control his fingers and they began to trace patterns across her back and waist.

"I can't remember what was exactly on the list next but we could just move up the physicality of each hug and therefore increase the intimacy."

"A-alright," Caitlin stuttered, her breath catching.

"So the science side is very much still in play," Barry said. "But for the next few minutes we let it be guided by what we're feeling. And by doing that we'll be extending the hugs and the intimacy."

Rather than reply Caitlin moved slowly. Her arms tightened around his back and he felt her hands grasp his shirt. She moved against him, aligning her body more with his and resting her head in the crook of his neck.

Barry shifted his legs so one slipped between Caitlin's bringing their bodies into a different kind of alignment. He felt her gasp against the skin of his neck and electricity shot down his spine. The air temperature dropped a little and Barry knew this was the right course of action. They were both responding to the intimacy of the situation. He shifted one of his hands, raising it to cup the back of Caitlin's head, massaging her scalp through her soft hair as he turned his face towards hers, his nose deliberately skimming the side of her forehead.

The close intense feeling of cackling air wrapped them up again and Barry revelled in it. But it wasn't enough.

"Permission to move us?" He whispered, his voice sounding like a shout in the sudden weighted intensity of their embrace.

"Move how?" Caitlin whispered back and her soft breath against his skin definitely caused a shudder to race through him.

Barry didn't reply with words, just did what he felt was right. He gathered her up in his arms and moved until he was on the couch, Caitlin sat on his lip, their arms still entwined around each other, their bodies still perfectly aligned and pressed close to each other.

"Like that," he said, staring straight into Caitlin's eyes as she gasped.

He slowly moved his hands, stroking over Caitlin's back, over her waist and then down her legs. She had great long legs he thought as his hands kept going. Cupping the back of her shins he raised her legs so she was sitting on top of him, astride.

"A lover's hug," Barry said, not taking his eyes off Caitlin's dark brown stare. Her breath was coming in panted gasps, wisps of white mist blowing in and out. The temperature in the room was still cold, colder than when they had started but it wasn't dropping anywhere near to freezing.

She was either really controlling her powers right now or she was really feeling this moment.

Barry felt his electricity stir in his skin, in his blood. He wanted to move, to warm them up and create that friction that would bounce off both of them, then tie them together like magnetic poles.

"How do you feel?" Barry asked softly.

Caitlin slowly moved her hands from his back to his chest, her fingers flexing against him, causing his muscles to jump. She shifted against him too, her legs searching for a better hold, but sensations shot through him. He clasped his hands tight against the back of her thighs and leant more into her chest, bringing their torsos flush together.

"I feel…" Caitlin started and then stopped to lick her lips.

Barry's eyes zeroed in on the movement and everything inside of him began to pulse. Part of him warned that this was just the intimacy of the situation; a beautiful woman who he couldn't hurt was basically sitting on his lap. Another part of him argued that this was a woman he was coming to care for deeply, even in the short amount of time they'd known each other, and he wanted her.

"I feel… safe," Caitlin said softly.

"Is that all?" Barry asked, shifting against her and bringing their faces closer so their foreheads touched.

"That's the important bit," Caitlin answered, her voice suddenly husky, her hands clenching at his shirt then sliding up over his shoulders so their chests touched completely.

"The intimacy bit's important too," Barry angled his head so he could drag his nose down Caitlin's cheeks, pressing his words straight into her skin. "Does this feel intimate to you?"

"Y-yes."

"Should we stop?" Barry asked. "Or move forwards?"

"I can't remember anymore hugs," she confessed, her eyes drifting closed as she arched, her neck tilting upwards so he could continue his trek along her skin, and her legs shifting against his.

"Maybe something similar then…" Barry muttered and moved.

He flashed them around so Caitlin was underneath him on the couch, their bodies pressed tightly together as his weight pushed down on her. Her hands rose from his shoulders to grasp his hair and he pulled on her legs, lifting them to encircle his waist, pushing their cores together. He could feel his body responding, feel the heat coiling off of him in waves. But Caitlin was right there with him, gasping as she arched, rubbing their cores together, taking his heat and absorbing it, little gems of ice surrounding her on the couch.

He'd never felt so close, so attuned to someone in all his life. His speed and the heat, the electricity it conjured, were there simmering in his cells but it met Caitlin's ice, sparked off it like flint and a stone. Catching together to make something more.

"Cait," he whispered, the shortened nickname coming unbidden to his lips.

She opened her eyes and stared up at him, deep brown ringed with the tiniest sliver of ice blue, but they called to Barry and before he knew what he was doing, before even his speed could stop him, he leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

/ / /

AN:

Yeah so apparently I like cliffhangers….

Hope you all enjoyed it and please let me know any response or feedback with a review!


	6. Chapter 6

/ / /

AN:

Head's up the rating is now changed to M (dipping toes in this chapter but others will be leading to full submerging). Email content is detailed by _italics_. This chapter is short but hopefully sweet I'm afraid but there is a reason for it. Hope you enjoy.

/ / /

For a split-second the world seemed to stop and all Barry could feel was her soft lips underneath his.

Then all feeling jumped back into high gear.

Electricity raced within his blood, pumping through his arms as he grasped her waist, pulling her tighter against him as his weight bore down on her. Bolts of pleasure seared through him from where their lips touched as he slanted against her mouth, pressing deeper, swallowing a moan as her mouth opened underneath his. Pinpricks of sensation assaulted his scalp as her hands moved through his hair, gripping and pulling at it as their mouths moved against each other.

He was moving too fast. Some logical part of his brain shouted this out but as loud as it was one second, the next Caitlin moved under him and the thought was gone, replaced with pure sensation.

She was arching up against him, rubbing her body along his and Barry knew there was something to rub against. He grinded himself down into the cradle of her hips and Caitlin gasped, reflexively widening her legs around him. Barry moaned into her mouth and pushed harder with his tongue, catching and flicking against hers, their kiss deep and intense.

Caitlin suddenly ripped her mouth from his, taking a deep shuddering breath. Barry could feel her suck the heat in from him, from the crackling air surrounding them. Ice spread under Caitlin and white shot through her hair but Barry couldn't do more than observe it, not when she arched against him again. The soft skin of her neck was right there and his lips moved against it, sucking and nibbling, some distant part of his brain cataloguing her reactions and noting what made her moan and what made her arch.

Barry moved one hand up from her waist, sliding it up and over her body, feeling her tremors as he glided up her body. He finally reached her shirt and tugged at the top button, pulling it free as his mouth kissed further down her neck, searching for new, sensitive skin. Caitlin gave an all-over body shiver as his teeth grazed where her neck and shoulder met. He bit down gently, supressing a groan as her lower body arched up and legs gripped him in response.

Caitlin's grip tightened in his hair and suddenly his head was pulled forcibly back, silver eyes with a small ring of brown gazed lustily up at him before he was yanked down, their mouths meeting in a clash, tongues duelling in a heated, hard kiss. Ice shot down his throat as Caitlin moaned and the sensation was like nothing Barry had felt before. It was like his insides had been plunged into a cold bath but his extremities were burning up; the feeling was so opposing, so contrasting, but so intense that it heightened every sensation. He'd really never felt anything like it before. It was amazing.

One of her hands abandoned his hair, leaving the other to tug and run over his scalp, to his delight. Her hand grasped at his shoulder, tugging his chest against hers, gripping at him as their bodies moved together. Her legs slid up and down his, arching and pushing, seeking something as she writhed underneath him.

Barry couldn't help but vibrate himself, letting loose the rest of the energy coiled inside of him. Meeting Caitlin's ice with his lightning.

"Oh!" Caitlin gasped as his chest vibrated against hers, her nipples beading against him and Barry buried his head in her neck, groaning into her skin.

"C-Cait," he whispered brokenly, the sensations almost too much, the pleasure so much it bordered on the unbearable.

His hand on her shirt moved down and over her breast, feeling her hard nipple against him, even through her clothes. His fingers moved faster that the speed of sound, a blur to the eyes as he rubbed at her brush, catching the hard tip as he circled it.

Caitlin sucked in a large gasp of air and ice shot out from under the couch, bursting out in a circular spray around them. A cold white mist surrounded her but Barry couldn't feel it, not really, not when it felt to him like his blood and bones were on fire. He had to move, had to touch more of her, taste more of her. Whatever it took to get more of this feeling.

Barry surged himself up, pressing their lower bodies even tighter together but before Caitlin could react he was moving, tugging her up and over him, running his hands up her legs, pushing her skirt up so she could straddle him properly. She may be surrounded by cold elsewhere but Barry could feel the heat of her core as he settled her against him, her panties lined up with his trousers. His hands ghosted over her ass and ran up her back before cupping her head, guiding her mouth back down to his. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, something he was quickly coming to love, pressing down onto his muscles in the best way as she responded to his kiss.

Barry knew he needed to break the kiss, to ask her if this was going further. It was a big leap from hugging to this and he wasn't sure Caitlin was ready for that, no matter how she was responding to him now.

And he did not want to blow his chances of going further with her. Not when she kissed and moved this amazingly. Not when he felt this close and powerful connection with her. Not when their powers weren't detracting from their experience, but adding to it.

A loud buzzer honked its way through the room and they both jumped.

Gasping for breath Barry leaned back and looked up at Caitlin. She was panting and still clutching at him.

"What was that?" Barry asked, confused and disoriented and so turned on.

"T-the end of sess-" Caitlin breathed out. "Oh my god, the end of session buzzer."

Suddenly she jumped up and Barry watched in fascination as the silver glow disappeared from her eyes and the white streaks in her hair faded until it was the normal beautiful brown. He was almost distracted enough by the change that he didn't realise she was pulling her skirt down and moving very quickly to the other side of the room, the door only she was supposed to use.

"Hey, Caitlin, wait," he said. "Don't leave like this, wait a minute."

"We have to go. Time's up. I-I have to-"

"Caitlin please, give me a second here," Barry said desperately. He couldn't get up, not easily at the minute and he knew she was going to run through that door without addressing what had just happened. Or what had just spiralled out of control, whichever way you wanted to say it. "We need to talk… Caitlin-"

"I'm sorry, I-" Caitlin stopped and looked at him. Her cheeks were flushed, her chest was still heaving from her panted breathing, her hair was mussed and her lips were swollen. She looked incredible. "Barry we have to go," she continued softly. "Our time's up. We have to stop." She gave him one last look and then walked quickly away.

"But-" Barry started but it was too late, she was through the door and gone.

Closing his eyes he hit his head back into the sofa and idly wondered how long they'd give him so he could calm down enough to leave. It wasn't as if cold thoughts were going to help him ever again.

But the thought of Caitlin's distressed face as she'd turned away, that did the trick.

Slowly Barry managed to get up and leave the room, gathering his things and making his way through the facility until he was standing on the street outside, surrounded by busy people going about their daily lives.

What had happened in there? Had he taken it too far? Had his hormones over-reacted? Sometimes he moved too quickly, too caught up in the feelings that he couldn't process the rest of the stimuli around him.

But he'd discussed that with Caitlin last session, that was part of his problem, what he was hoping to work on. Last session? he thought to himself, that was their first session. This was only the second ever time he'd met Caitlin in the flesh. And that startling thought brought Barry to a sudden stop, causing several other people to crash into him and mutter foul words under their breath. Barry apologised dazedly but couldn't focus on those around him.

This was only their second session together and he had gone from arriving and surprising her, to then causing her to have a freak out, then talking through with Caitlin how they would run their sessions, to then doing what she had asked of him before pushing past all of that to basically dry-humping her on the couch as he let his speed control him. Again.

There was something seriously the matter with him.

Another person knocked into him and Barry realised he was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Shaking himself out of it he knew he had to get to a computer fast and email Caitlin, make sure she was ok and he hadn't screwed things u with her.

Barry got home as quick as he could, speeding up his staircase and into his apartment the second the lobby door was shut behind him. He'd take a fine for public use of powers right now if it meant he could get the email off to Caitlin a few seconds quicker.

 _KF-lady,_

 _Are you alright? I didn't mean for things to get so intense, and intimate, so fast. I just went with my feelings which isn't really the best bet as my speed can make everything work faster. Did I hurt you? Was it too much? Did I rush you? Please talk to me. I know the session ended but we need to talk it through. We need to process what happened and discuss it together. Figure out what's next or how to stop what happened today from happening again._

 _Please talk to me. Can I give you my cell?_

 _I need to know you're okay._

 _Mr S_

Barry wasn't sure that was the right way to start or end it but the middle bit seemed ok and he really just needed to talk with her, however he could make that happen.

Hopefully she'd reply soon and they could sort this out.

/ / /

AN:

Massive thank you to all the lovely reviewers – I will hopefully start sending out personal thank you's soon but have just been so focused on the story itself I haven't gotten around to it yet. Hope you all liked this chapter and please let me know any thoughts or feedback in a review!


	7. Chapter 7

/ / /

AN:

Thank you so much for all the amazing reviews, they are fantastic to read (especially ShanouNash, dude yours are awesome!) and for those I haven't replied to yet I will get to it! I will mention here that a few people have asked about a chapter from Caitlin's POV and it is planned, but at a certain point in the story, so you'll have to wait for that to happen I'm afraid.

/ / /

It had been three hours since Barry had sent the email. One hundred and eighty minutes. Ten thousand eight hundred seconds. And she hadn't replied.

Barry would swear that he could feel each second as it went past. It was like time was mocking him; earlier he'd gone too fast and now everything was going so slow.

He wanted to do something, to move, to speed, but what could he do? The only contact allowed outside of the room between programme partners was through email and he'd already done that. Somehow he knew that spamming Caitlin was not the answer. He had to summon all the patience he owned and wait for her reply. Anything else would push her and probably not in the direction he wanted to go, so allowing her to think it through, come to realise her own feelings on what had happened and then respond to him was what needed to happen.

He just wanted that to happen _now_ already.

A knock at the door distracted him from his thoughts and he got up to see who it was, already thinking of an excuse to get rid of whoever it was as he really didn't want company tonight. He opened the door and as he looked at his foster father whatever words that had been on his lips died.

"Need to talk to someone?" Joe asked, not bothering to wait for an answer as he shouldered his way past Barry and into the kitchen. "I brought chips and beer."

"You know that doesn't have any effect on me," Barry replied glumly, closing the door and wishing, not for the first time since he got his powers, that he could get well and truly drunk.

"Did I say it was for you?"

That brought a small smile to Barry's lips and he followed after his foster dad.

Joe was already popping a beer lid so Barry grabbed some bowls for the chips that were laying on the counter top. It felt like the calm before the storm as he and Joe moved around the kitchen together. Barry knew perfectly well from his teenage years that Joe was simply waiting him out, letting the silence build and get to him. He was biding his time and then Joe would ask just the right question that would make him crack.

It was a good technique and one that had served Joe well in raising a headstrong daughter and a too-curious foster-son, especially in their teenage years.

They moved through to Barry's lounge area, Joe sipping on beer Barry already halfway through a bowl of chips. The silence seemed to be getting heavier with each passing second. Three thoughts circled around Barry's head in a mini movie; his sent email with inbox empty, Caitlin's face as it turned from pleasure to shock and Joe's expectant air as he waited. Each thought passed by, consuming him completely, before the next one took precedence, repeating over and over. His hands moved automatically, lifting chips to his mouth was chewed instinctively.

"Iris popped by this afternoon," Joe said. "She's writing a new article."

"Good for her," Barry answered.

"About Star Institute."

Barry stopped, his eyes shooting to Joe's.

"The same Star Institute that you had me read a load of papers on," Joe continued. "About a programme you were doing with them there. I had to sign off as your family member with notice."

"Joe…" Barry started, not really sure where he was going, but it didn't matter as the older man kept talking.

"Iris is writing about how the institute is doing all it can to help metas, but as they were affiliated with the laboratory that built the particle accelerator which created metas in the first place, their help could actually be a way for making up for what they did without admitting complicity."

"That does sound like one of Iris' long titles," Barry tried to joke, not at all sure of his footing here. And after the day he'd had, not ready for this discussion.

"Bar," Joe said voice gentle. "What's going on? The last few days you've been happy, been excited about something that's not been work or when you're allowed to use your speed. I know that has something to do with Star Institute. I didn't understand half of what I read but I remember it. Now I'm here about to ask about it and before I even get to the subject, you're all sad and meepy."

"It's been a day," Barry sighed.

"Talk to me."

Barry looked up and into Joe's eyes, seeing all the reassurance he'd always seen, the only thing he'd ever needed to try and conquer his fears.

"So you know I went to Star Institute," Barry began. "But you don't know why. I mean you know about a programme obviously but not about what it does."

Joe sat back in his seat and nodded at Barry to continue and he knew he had all of the older man's attention.

"It's happened a few times, nothing major until the last one, but I've found I can't control my speed when I'm with, err that is to say, um when me and a woman… This is really hard to say out loud but when I get close to someone, everything speeds up and I lose control and the friction and the lightning causes problems." He glanced a quick look up at Joe but there was no judgement, no horror in his eyes, just patience and that reassurance. "The last time, something caught on fire, some of her clothing, and I got it away but it could have been hair or skin and I can't speed heal other people. I tried to talk it through with Iris but she made some points of her own and I ended up contacting Star Institute."

"Iris sent you there?" Joe asked.

"No, she doesn't know about that at all. She just gave me the impetus to go there, get their help in sorting this out."

"What did she say?"

Barry took a deep breath. "That there was stuff going on with me, that I wasn't being a good friend and that I couldn't keep running from everything in my life and still expect it to turn out exactly how I wanted it to be."

Joe winced. "Right now I'm not sure I'm proud of teaching her not to pull her punches."

"I needed to hear it."

"Not like that, I'm guessing. And not from her."

Barry lifted his head and saw something else in Joe's eyes. "I don't know what you-"

"Bar, don't," Joe said. "I know what I know. Know what I've seen you feel over the last however many years. I keep waiting for you to say something, to tell her. But instead you keep getting yourself knocked back and waiting in the wings. As a friend."

"We are friends, the best of friends," Barry said hurriedly. "And I can't do anything more until I can control myself, control the speed. If I ever can…"

Which brought him back to thinking of Caitlin. Was she ok? Had she replied to his email? If Joe hadn't turned up Barry wouldn't have thought about Iris at all tonight.

"Star Institute is helping me," Barry said slowly. "And there's one person there who is helping more than any other but I think I screwed up. I think I may have hurt her. Not physically," Barry said quickly. "But she's been through a lot, more than I have and I think I may have been too much on her and hurt he emotionally and I want to not have but it all happened so fast and I-"

"You sound like you care about this 'her' a lot."

"I trust her," Barry said simply. "As much as I trust you."

"As much as Iris?"

"More."

The word popped out of Barry's mouth before he could even really finish thinking about it but he knew it was true. He didn't know what it meant about the rest of his confusing, conflicting feelings but he knew that much.

"She has powers too," Barry went on to explain to Joe, needing to say something else. "Incredible powers and she doesn't trust them or herself. But I think she could trust me, in time. That's something Iris will never be able to understand, to share with me, and with Ca- with her, it's just so easy."

"Then I'll ignore what Iris tells me about Star Institute," Joe said simply. "For now."

"Thanks Joe."

"Is this 'her' the reason you've been so happy the last few days?"

Barry shrugged a shoulder. "Yeah?"

"Good to know."

It was good to know that it could be that simple, Barry thought. He'd been happy since the first session. After meeting Caitlin, after all the possibilities their powers cancelling each other out offered, and the promise of a friendship, he had been happier. Focusing on things other than his work, his speed and thoughts of Iris had made him feel lighter, even if there was worry and conflicting emotions involved in the sessions.

"What should I do Joe? To make it right?"

"Probably the one thing you hate doing," Joe answered honestly. "Slow down."

Barry slumped back in his seat and just managed to hold back a groan. Sensible advice it might be, but it wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"You do everything so fast Bar, you've got to give others time to catch up. And if this girl is like you've said and been through a lot she may need time to adjust. You'll get where you need to go, I have no doubt in that." Joe smiled. "You always put in the work until you do."

Barry found a smile at those words and felt himself relaxing for the first time that night.

Joe stayed another few hours and out of an unspoken agreement they didn't talk anymore about Star Institute, his powers or Iris. Things that been separate before the start of the programme now had overlaps and blurred lines. Barry didn't know what to feel about all of it so he took Joe's advice and slowed down. He didn't need to think everything through and have an answer right this minute. He had time to sort it all out and understand it himself before he had to act on anything.

What he really wanted though was to know if Caitlin was alright.

He hadn't checked his email since before Joe arrived and he managed to keep himself distracted from it as he did things around his apartment. As he was about to call it a night though the temptation was too strong.

An email awaited him, simply titled as a reply.

 _Mr S,_

 _No need for cells numbers to be exchanged we can communicate through email satisfactorily enough. Thank you for your repeated concern but I am unhurt. In response to your query about how we move forward, I have detailed below a list of intimate exchanges that we may wish to progress to as we have proved tonight that an interaction as simple as a hugs is safe enough. I will await you thoughts so we may confirm our schedule for the next session, which I believe once agreed upon we should stick to._

 _KF-lady_

Barry's eyes widened as he read through the list underneath her message. Dual feelings coursed through him; Lightning surged and pulsed as his blood pounded, erotic images of Caitlin filling his head as her written words registered; And dread stung along his spine like cold bees as the formality and indifference to her words hung over the email.

He knew in that moment with a clarity that was so clear he almost thought it was a new power that however he responded to this, whatever they did next, would define who they'd be from now on. Just partners in a project programme, testing their abilities and their limits? Friends with common interests and life experiences?

Or something more?

/ / /


	8. Chapter 8

/ / /

AN:

I'm sorry to have missed my weekly update, I was away on holiday and presumed the wifi would work there and allow me to upload but unfortunately not. Here though, is an extra long chapter and even the first glimpse of Caitlin's thoughts for those of you who waited patiently! And for those who didn't and cursed my name for no new chapter then… you still get the chapter (that doesn't really work does it?) I will try and keep to my weekly updates after this and mention if there might be any reason why they won't happen. I've had a few questions about how the power interactions work in this story and hopefully this chapter makes that a little clearer, if not I will explain in the author's note at the end.

Layout note – in a heading the first initial of a character refers to that section being in their POV.

/ / /

B-b-B

Barry did another check around his lab, making sure there was no-one in sight and then he sped round, tidying everything into its proper place, doing a few tests manually rather than waiting for the machine, and getting reports typed up. This nervous energy that encompassed him was like nothing he'd ever felt before. The need to _move_ was within him, burning down his spine and intensifying every second.

He didn't even care if anyone saw him, if he was reprimanded in any way. He had to do something to relieve the pressure he felt.

He hadn't been able to work out what Caitlin meant from her last email and his confusion had led to him chickening out of asking for answers. Or replying to the things she'd listed. Instead all he'd said was that he thought it would be best to discuss their next step in person and go over her suggestions then. Caitlin's reply had been short, simply agreeing and stating the date and time of their next session. Which was tonight, hence Barry's nervousness.

"Barry!"

Barry almost dropped the vial he was holding but managed to catch it by switching his speed motions, curving his hand under the glass tube instead of holding it by the neck as he had been doing.

"What are you doing?" Felicity hissed, coming into the lab and shutting the door. "Anyone could have seen you!"

Barry shrugged. "The captain's on a deadline, I'm good to speed so long as I can help him meet it."

The blonde computer expert sighed and moved closer to him. "I know you've got some allowance when it comes to your powers and using them and not having a work license to do so but really you should try to be a bit more conspicuous. For example, at least closing the door whilst you flaunt the rules."

Again he shrugged, not feeling the need to answer or explain himself. His eyes shot over to the clock on the wall and he forced himself not to do a mental calculation of how long until work finished and he could make his way to the session.

"And you could try to look at least a little repentant," Felicity continued, eyebrows narrowed as she stared at him. "What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're edgy. You don't do edgy Barry."

"I'm fine. Why are you here?"

"Wow, way to make a girl feel invited."

Barry scrunched up his face in genuine confusion. "I invited you?"

"I received a summons about a mentor check-in," Felicity answered, pulling her phone from her bag and waving it around. "From Star Institute. I presumed it was actually from you?"

"No," Barry shook his head. "Why would I ask you through the Star Institute email when I could just text you?"

"Good point."

"What did it say?"

Felicity looked down at her phone. "Basically that you needed some support to prepare for you next session. Which was how you explained this mentor thing working to me in the first place. I mean I don't know any details about what you're actually doing but I'm just here to talk to you and you to have someone to talk to and somehow that's supposed to help and make it all work out."

"You specifically got an email about tonight's session?" Barry asked, his nervousness causing his voice to creep up. "For real? As if it's not stressful enough without having to talk about it!"

Felicity just stared at him. He turned away so her gaze hit his back, not able to read quite what was in her eyes.

"Have you had your lunch break already?"

Barry shook his head at the random question. "No. I wanted to keep working."

"Good, you're owed some time then. Let's go."

"Felicity-"

"Barry," Felicity looked straight at him and this time there was no mistaking the emotion on her face; concern shone brightly in her eyes. Curiosity and annoyance he could have dealt with and sent her on her way, but concern? She had him there.

"Ok, fine."

Felicity led the way and all Barry could think was how was he going to explain all this without actually explaining it? There were lots of non-disclosure and confidentiality forms he'd signed and there was Caitlin's privacy and his dignity. Well, Felicity had seen him do some stupid things since they'd befriended each other in college so she probably wouldn't rate that one as important as the others.

But it could be good to get a woman's perspective, he thought. He'd felt better after talking about it with Joe but that was very much from his side of things, even if they were motivated by feelings invoked by and on behalf of Caitlin. Maybe Felicity could shed some light on what she, and therefore a fellow woman, would be thinking in this situation? Without explaining the situation specifically of course.

This really wasn't going to go well.

Felicity pulled him into Jitters, ordered some drinks and food and directed him to a booth at the back where they would have some small amount of privacy. When she was on a mission there wasn't a lot you could do to slow her down.

"So," she said when they were sat. "Where do you want to start?"

Barry opened his mouth but she beat him to it.

"You know what, let me lay out what I've got so far and then you can add to it, kay? Star Institute is running a programme to help metas in some form or another, you sign up, you need a 'mentor' - someone to talk with and who will also communicate with Star if become worried about you. You pick me. Lots of tests, some emails, one or more sessions later and here we are. I have an email about talking to you and you are acting out of character. Not crazy, oh-my-god-worry-about-him-emotionally out of character but different nevertheless. Now," she takes a breath and lifts her coffee to her lips. "You go."

Barry drums his fingers on the edge of the table, both considering what to say and which sandwich he wants to eat. If there's food near him Barry will always eat, his metabolism is much higher than anyone else's, and eating pretty much constantly keeps him from passing out.

"Say there was a guy," Barry said slowly, his mind thinking fast as his hands slowly picked up a ham salad sandwich.

"Real guy or hypothetical guy?"

"Hypothetical," Barry answers before looking up at Felicity. He doesn't say anything else but takes a bite of his sandwich and keeps looking at her. She nods, clearly understanding his unspoken cue; in words he can't say anything specific but Felicity can interpret them with him in mind. "And this hypothetical guy met a supposed girl and they decided to help each other with a mutual problem. The guy and girl get on and are maybe friends but they have to do something together, something intense and the guy pushed the girl, not intentionally, an accidental impulse, and upset the girl. They talked it through and got back on track but then the guy did it again and this time the girl was withdrawn with him. She said it was alright and to move on but the guy isn't sure to believe it. Then girl sent guy a list of things to do together next time and on one hand it's great because guy wants to do those things and on the other hand it's horrible because guy thinks girl doesn't really mean it and is trying to focus on actions and not feelings and guy wants to work on feelings because they could be friends." Barry took a deep breath and lit it out as a sigh. "I think we could be really good friends."

His eyes snapped up as he realized what he said but Felicity just smiled at him and he knew she'd pretend to not have heard his use of personal vocabulary.

"Sounds complicated," she said and lifted her hands to beneath her chin, in what Barry liked to call her thinking pose.

"Sounds hopeless," Barry slumped. "Guy was a jerk to girl and now he doesn't know what to do to make it up to her."

"Hmm, maybe. But girl is still talking to guy so there is that."

Barry shrugged and just waited for what Felicity was going to say next.

"Would guy stop if girl asked him to?"

"Instantly. Within a micro-second."

"Would he force girl to do something she wouldn't want to?"

"No. _Never_. How could you ask-"

"Would girl force guy to do something-"

"No, she wouldn't."

"Then I think…" Felicity said slowly. Her eyes flicked up over his shoulder and back to him but Barry was just desperate to hear what she was going to say. "I think guy does whatever girl says."

Barry blinked in shock, a mental image of the list projected in front of his eyes. "W-whatever girl.. says?"

"Mm-hmm."

"What if what girl has said is very out there for girl's character and very intense for what girl and guy have done so far?"

"It sounds to me like guy has called all the shots so far," Felicity said gently. "Maybe not on purpose, maybe by accident, but girl has been playing catch-up. Guy should do whatever she says and try not to rush her this time. Unless she's rushing guy, then you sort something else out."

Barry slumped back in his chair and thought it over as he ate the rest of his food. Felicity again looked at him and then over his shoulder before focusing back on him but Barry couldn't think of anything other than the list Caitlin had put at the end of the email. His body was more than willing to do the things on it with her but his mind was having a hard time with it. He knew, just knew that if he did this wrong he could end up hurting her and she'd respond as she had when her powers flared that first time, by locking him out and internalising everything.

Is that what she was doing now maybe? Internalising the feelings and just pursuing the actions? It would make sense in a cold hard logical response way; forget the emotions and follow the stimuli.

But could he do that with Caitlin?

"If the guy is worried about the girl," he began slowly. "But wants to follow the advice and give girl control, how should he handle that?"

"Just keep reassuring her," Felicity said simply. "Follow girl's list, meet her action for action, but reassure her with words, the right words to express what you're thinking."

"And if the guy doesn't know the right words?"

Felicity smiles. "I'm sure he'll babble his way through until he finds the right ones. Although, every so often he does manage to say the perfect thing in the perfect moment."

Barry grinned and shook his head. "Hypothetical guy."

"Am I hypothetically wrong?"

He held his reply in for a long beat. "No."

Felicity laughed. "Guy is going to do fine. He obviously cares about girl and about what they're doing so he's not going to mess it up."

"Did you not hear me earlier? Guy rushed girl _twice_ -"

"But not on purpose and if it's being told correctly girl seemed to understand that. Guy needs to give himself a break."

Barry sighed and slumped in his chair again.

"Whatever you're doing Barry," Felicity said quietly. "It seems to matter a great deal to you."

"It could change my life," he replied just as quietly. "I could picture an actual future and not just dream about one. I could be safe around someone I love."

"Someone?" Felicity asked. "Not the one?"

Barry frowned at her.

"For as long as I've known you, you've been convinced you knew who your 'one' is," Felicity said. "You've said it repeatedly, too much in my opinion but that's beside the point. Only now you said 'someone'. And for the first time ever that we've been at Jitters you haven't noticed the second Iris walked in and started her shift."

Barry sat up but fought the urge to look around and find where Iris was, no doubt behind the counter taking orders. She still picked up shifts here to cover her shortfall from being an interim journalist.

"I think girl is going to be good for guy," Felicity said with a slow smile.

Barry was about to refute her with something about it just being a metahuman thing but then he stopped and realised that although Felicity could have picked up on the subtle inference of their powers she wasn't referring to them at all. He'd explained everything away with his powers in mind but now they weren't at the forefront what did that mean?

"Hey guys. Didn't see you over here at the back," Iris said happily as she approached them. "Can I get you anything else?"

"I'm good," Felicity answered.

"Great. Bar?"

Barry just stared at Felicity, her words and Caitlin's list running through his head. This was confusing and conflicting things that were already confused and conflicted enough.

"Barry, earth to Barry?"

He looked up at Iris, looked up at iris' smiling face and the way she seemed to just glow and be perfect. He waited for the inevitable, always there longing that thrummed through him whenever she smiled at him like that. But all he felt was confusion.

And a jolt of panic.

"I have to go," He blurted, jumping up and nearly sending his chair flying. "I'm late for work, to get back to work not start work obviously. I need to get back to it, to the precinct I mean. Late so yeah, got to go."

He walked out of Jitters with the sole focus of not making his body speed and run out of there.

"He's fine Iris," Felicity's voice followed after him. "He's just got a lot going on right now."

A lot going on. That was au understatement. But work first. Work going on. He needed to focus on work and clear his head of everything else. There were reports to finish and tests to run. Evidence to be sent to lock-up and files documented. There was plenty to do whilst he both simultaneously focused on work and watched the clock, obsessing and stressing.

He still had a session to go to.

\ \ \

C-c-C

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

The voice was soft and gentle and not what she needed right now. She need facts and cold reasoning. Logic and hard decisions. Not questions about emotional wants.

"It's what needs to be done."

"I'm not sure it needs to be done this way."

She sighed. "Cisco, you said if I told you everything you would let me do it my way."

"Am I stopping you from doing it your way?"

She sighed again but this time not out of frustration, out of gratitude for her friend. "No."

"And I won't, like ever, I know that's sucked for you in the past. But I am gonna ask about it." Cisco looked up at her. "You're my best friend. I'm here for you and I want you to be happy and I know this will help you get there. And by this I mean the programme, not necessarily what you've proposed for tonight."

"Which you don't know all of, thank you very much."

Cisco shuddered. "The first line was enough, I am not interested in knowing the rest but I can guess and from my guesswork comes my concern."

Caitlin smiled softly and reached out for her friend before quickly pulling her arm back. White frost glittered under her fingernails.

Damn Barry. Two sessions of being able to touch him and it had seriously affected her ability to keep withdrawn from everyone physically.

Cisco had seen her slight movement but instead of backing away in fear like he should be doing he grinned at her. "You almost touched me didn't you?"

"No."

"Caitlin that's great. Ok, I take it back, well not all of it, the concern is still there and the worry but everything else? Gone. Vamoosed. This guy is obviously doing great things if you want to try and touch me like you used to."

"I'm not safe yet."

Cisco rolled his eyes.

"Cisco, I'm not. As soon as I can experience enough physical stimuli to understand my power triggers then I can work on controlling them so nothing gets a cold reaction from me. Then I can be safe."

"And you can do this with this guy?"

"Yes, exactly. Our powers negate each other's so it means I can focus on what causes the powers to activate. As soon as I know that I can control it accordingly. Hopefully meaning I can control myself to be around anyone in any situation."

"Then I wish you all the luck of the rainbow."

Caitlin startled and looked at him.

"What? You keep complaining about my movie reference I thought I'd try something new. Leprechauns are lucky and everyone knows they hang out by rainbows so therefore I wish you-"

"Once was enough," Caitlin said quickly. "And I give you permission to go back to movie quotes."

Cisco laughed, reached out slowly to her shoulder where he gently put his hand over her clothes and gave a soft squeeze against her tensed muscles. "I'll be around later, if you need to talk or anything."

Caitlin nodded and managed a smile for him as he backed away from her and moved out of her lab.

She looked around and saw everything was neatly in its place. Moving efficiently she turned all the machines and lights off, removed her lab coat and hung it on its hook. She'd made the plan for tonight's session and going off his actions of the last sessions she didn't think Barry would object. But her hands were shaking nonetheless.

Nervousness was a feeling she'd always hated. And it was all nerves in her tummy, the queasy up and down sensations were not related to anticipation or excitement at all.

She turned into the next corridor and walked determinedly ahead, focusing on where she was going, heading for their Star Institute room, rather than think about what she was feeling.

/ / /

B-b-B

Barry fumbled with the doorknob as he entered the room. So not the smooth entrance he would have liked, but then what did his entrance matter?

He tried very hard to keep his breathing normal and not stare as he realised that once again Caitlin had beaten his arrival and was already in their room. He also was able to ignore the impulse to just _move_ over to her. They needed to start this session off the right way, not with him making another stupid rash decision.

"Hi," he said and was extremely glad his voice came out normal.

"Hello Barry."

There was no inflection in Caitlin's tone, no welcoming warmth or snappy anger, just a cool detachment. The words were spoken, job done. Nothing else from her and even though Barry stared at her for any kind of outward sign, and really if it were anyone else they would be calling him on his rudeness right now, he could detect no indication of the Caitlin he was coming to know, the inner self she kept back and under the surface. The Caitlin he'd come to predict through hidden smiles and small facial tics.

Joe said give her time. Felicity said give her whatever she wants. Barry just didn't know.

"We should begin yes?" Caitlin said. "I doubt either of us would like the buzzer to interrupt some of the activities that were outlined in the proposal for today's session."

Barry let out a huff of laughter but all too soon it was swallowed up. This wasn't the Caitlin he knew. Not the one from their email exchange, not the one he'd begun to know in person the last two sessions. This was ice super-scientist Caitlin, all feelings buried inside and the only thoughts the aim and objective of the experiment.

And he was the experiment. No, in fairness, together they were the experiment.

"Ok," Barry nodded. "What shall we begin with?"

"Last time we achieved close bodily contact whilst wearing clothes," Caitlin said quickly, as if she had to force the words out to get them said. "And engaged in 'light petting', to use a popular term. If we are to progress with deepening our intimate experiences to correlate the connection between them and the triggers of our powers we must change one aspect of that situation and observe the corresponding results."

Barry waited a beat to let himself process all that; the scientist was definitely at the forefront of Caitlin right now. "So next up we'd either take our clothes off and did what we did last time or keep clothes on and move on to heavy petting? Is that what you're saying?"

"That would be correct."

Give her time or whatever she wants? Barry thought for a minute and then looked at Caitlin. She was holding herself stiffly and waiting on his reply and it suddenly occurred to him that this scientist persona was probably costing Caitlin. She had been starting to warm up to him and he knew, just knew, it wasn't easy for her to do that even without what she'd told him about Killer Frost. And with that thought he made up his mind. Give her what she wants but reassure her as they go.

"Ok. So which do you want to do?"

Caitlin blinked. "Um-" She coughed and then carried on but her voice wasn't as confident as it had been a minute ago. Obviously she'd expected a different reaction from him. Maybe more conversation of what they were doing? "I suppose, no, the next logical step would be to repeat the activity with a change in stimuli."

"Light petting again but with no clothes on? Or just wearing underwear?"

"Underwear will suffice."

"Alright then." Barry smiled at her, the friendliest smile he could muster and then stripped off his t-shirt.

Caitlin's eyes immediately shot down to his chest and her eyes widened, cheeks flushing slightly.

"Yeah, lightning gave me abs," Barry joked. "I guess I look just all lanky from the outside but I've got some muscle."

"Being on the lankier side must be a benefit with your powers," Caitlin replied softly. "And it isn't a negative physical attribute."

Barry grinned at that; was she saying she liked what she saw? His hands went to his jeans but paused as his mind very quickly tried to remember what underwear he'd put on this morning. Red new pair of boxers, he was sure. Nothing stupid like his childhood-influenced muppets ones or the lightning motif ones Felicity had sent him as a joke. Nope, he was wearing the red ones and his hands continued their job of undoing his jeans whilst his toes edged off his shoes.

Caitlin turned from him as he bent to take off his socks and the sudden rustle of her clothing being removed seemed extra loud in the room. It was fine whilst he was undressing but now Caitlin was? Nerves shot through him like wildfire. Was this the right thing to do?

He took a deep breath and stood back up, counting to five slowly in his head before he looked up again at where Caitlin was standing.

Smooth creamy skin stood out against black underwear. Long limbs and slight curves arrested his gaze and as he couldn't help but look her up and down blood began to surge through his veins, a spark of lightning carried within it.

"Cait," Barry said breathlessly. "You're beautiful."

A fierce blush definitely stole over her cheeks now and Barry focused everything he had on keeping his eyes trained on her face and not following the blush down to see where else she turned pink. Out of the corner of his eye he could see white strands starting to spiral their way down through some of Caitlin's hair.

"Words aren't necessary," Caitlin answered but her voice was strangled, almost echo-y, and her pupils were dilated. "We should just, just proceed with…"

Barry nodded. "Ok."

Slowly, so slowly it felt like the lightning was burning his insides in retaliation, he reached an arm out and grazed his fingertips down Caitlin's arm. Static jumped between them and Caitlin gasped, white mist wafting out of her mouth as she breathed. Very gently Barry grasped Caitlin's hand in his and tugged her forwards. She stumbled as she moved closer and then their bodies collided.

Caitlin's breath heaved in and out and white mist gathered around them but her eyes were pure brown and her skin was warm against his chest and his fingers.

"Permission to repeat previous activity?" Barry murmured, his lips hovering mere millimetres from hers, his fingers tracing patterns on the skin of her arms. But he had to ask, had to make sure. Whatever she wants but with reassurance, he thought to himself. His fingers traced a gentle pattern and he willed her to feel safe with him and not just because of their powers.

Caitlin's tongue flicked out and wet her lips, her eyes focused on Barry's mouth and she nodded.

Barry closed the final gap and kissed her, his arms reaching down to cradle her waist as Caitlin's shot up to loop around her neck. For one second, one long interminable second to Barry, all their lips did was touch gently. Then he felt the lightning pulse and the spark of cold against his skin and the reactions that neither of them seemed to be able to control around the other exploded, passion taking over as their hands started to roam and their lips started to dance.

Part of Barry whispered this wasn't good, he was here to learn control, not to lose it. And he needed to be gentle with her, to not let the rush take over. But the rest of him was too caught up in the feel of Caitlin to care.

/ / /

AN:

Yup, that's where this chapter ends, but just think about where the next one will start…

As to the questions about their powers I've received. I hope this chapter explained it a little better but if not this is how I view their powers working; so Barry has good control over his powers overall but when he gets involved in emotional situations, in this case physical intimacy, his speed 'takes over', this could cause lightning to spark, friction burns or fire and also for him to act in a way slightly out of character as he would go faster with actions he otherwise might take his time with (this is definitely the element explored most in this story – though Barry hasn't realised it yet! Kudos to the reviewers/messagers who have – and was mentioned very briefly in an episode in season 1 which was part of what gave me the idea for this story in the first place). Caitlin's powers are very much linked to her emotional state (as in the show) but aren't a separate persona, she just views it as such thanks to the nickname given to her, and she keeps herself withdrawn so she can't have an emotional reaction and therefore a manifestation of her ice powers. Barry's speed powers can cause vibrations which should be able to equate the ice molecules Caitlin makes and therefore their powers can cancel each other's out (this is definitely a premise I have been using). Together they can't hurt each other, so long as the other one is using their powers in the same vein, and would be able to explore the use of their powers in intimate situations safely. Once their powers are under control they would be able to be intimate with others as they had learnt the control here in their sessions.

That's the sciency bit and I hope it all makes sense!

Please let me know what you thought of this chapter or if you have any further questions in a review. (If you're still with me after that mammoth AN note of course.


	9. Chapter 9

/ / /

AN:

Thank you for all the amazing reviews and the understanding. Hope you like this chapter, it leads straight on from the last one.

/ / /

His hands were wrapped around her waist and her skin was so soft and smooth against his grasp. He couldn't help but clutch at her, pulling slightly to create more contact between them, to create friction against them as they moved against each other. They were still standing but wrapped around each other so tightly. Barry felt the line of her body against his and how her cloth-covered nipples were grazing against his chest as they moved against each other. Heat was running through all his body, the lightning charging him from inside but he knew his blood was thundering down to his groin.

Caitlin gasped as he tore his lips from hers, moving to her neck so he could continue to feel her skin but take in much need air. Barry was so amped up and fell of feeling, he didn't want to pass out because of hyperventilating or lack of oxygen. But he couldn't pull himself away, couldn't separate from Caitlin now she was within his touch, the feelings, the sensations that were speeding through him were too much.

Her hands gripped his hair and scraped against his scalp. Pulling his head in closer as she angled her head back and her body arched up against his. Barry moaned into her neck as she rubbed up against him, one of her legs lifting to angle around his waist.

God, he wanted to thrust against her, to feel the friction build between them in the best of places. But he need to go with her this time, not let his speed take over.

"Permission to move?" Barry gasped into her neck, his lips barely moving from her skin to let the words out. He remembered using those same words before but he could barely concentrate on forming any words right now. She kept making these wonderful little shivers every time he flicked his tongue _just_ so against her.

"M-move?"

"To where we were before, last time."

"Of course," Caitlin muttered. "Of course, we need to be rep… replicating..." Her words trailed off into a breathy moan as her head titled back even more for Barry's mouth.

Barry grabbed Caitlin's legs, hoisting her up around his waist and stepped backwards towards the couch quickly, falling back against it so he was sat on it and Caitlin was straddling him, similar to one of their positions from last time. He knew she'd be able to feel his hardness pressing up into her as he ran his hands up and down her thighs and legs, each time pulling her a little bit tighter against him. Caitlin's skin was so soft and cold, it was like rubbing his hands over melting ice cubes, the smoothness and chill he felt as she moved under his touch. But it was invigorating and sent sensations shooting up from his fingertips.

Caitlin grasped his head on both sides and pulled him up, aligning their lips as she kissed him hard, her tongue thrusting into his mouth as she started to move on his lap. Heat coursed through him even as he felt ice start to gather on his head.

Whoever had called her Killer Frost was a moron, Barry thought suddenly. There was no way her ice was killing the moment between them here.

But the thought cleared his mind enough to remember they were here to help each other learn control. Caitlin's ice was nowhere near to hurting him but he needed to check in with her, needed her to start thinking even as they caused feelings to spiral through each other.

"Caitlin," Barry gasped, pulling his lips from hers. "How do you feel?"

"Mm-hmm," Caitlin murmured, her lips now tracing down his chest causing his skin to erupt in goosebumps. "I feel good."

"That's gr-great," Barry said breathily, unable to stop himself arching under her ministrations and therefore pushing himself tighter against her. "But I meant, how does your control feel?"

Caitlin flinched on top of him, understanding dawning, and she removed her hands from him. Barry knew she was about to pull back from him completely. But that would get them nowhere and he really didn't want them to stop.

He really didn't want her to overthink this and shut him out again.

Barry slipped one hand around her back pulling her tight against him and the other cupped the nape of her neck through her hair. He watched her eyes go wide as he pulled her towards him, catching her in a kiss. He deepened it until he felt her relax against him and her arms clutch at his shoulders once more.

"I can feel ice," he whispered against her lips, barely breaking their kiss before starting a new one. "But only a little bit and it's not hurting me." He kissed down the side of her face and to her neck. The way she arched against him was intoxicating but he needed to focus, needed to ask these questions but also reassure her.

"Barry, I-" Her voice caught.

"It's ok," he murmured into her skin. "I'm here, I'm with you Cait."

He lifted his face to stare into her eyes, their hurried breaths colliding against each other as they were so close. Her eyes were brown and deep but Barry could see white in her hair, could feel the temperature of her skin and the thin layer of ice that coated certain areas of his body where Caitlin's hands had been.

He wanted more than anything else to keep kissing her, to feel her underneath him and take her where their bodies were primed to go. It would be wonderful and amazing, it was already so intense between them, but it would only last that moment and Barry wanted more than that.

"I want to speed," he admitted softly. "I want to just move against you and hurry along until I can feel you come apart in my arms. But that's part of my powers talking, I think. I'm so caught up in you, in the way the lightning in me seems to spark off you. To know you can take it, it makes me want to take you. But I've already sped too much with you, taken things too fast and I won't do that again Caitlin."

He traced her skin with one hand whilst the other moved to cup her face, gently dragging his thumb across her swollen lower lip. But he kept his eyes on hers, willing her to see the sincerity, the depth of his feelings.

"I can feel your cold," he said. "But you don't feel cold to me. So what are you feeling to make the ice Cait?"

"Too much," she whispered, her voice shaking and her hands clutching at him tightly. "I feel too much and it overwhelms me. I can't un-understand it all so I lose control. I t-think I try to shut it down and then ice just spreads and then I c-can't reign it back and suddenly everything is cold and bad and I…"

"The cold isn't bad," Barry said. "If we didn't have cold we couldn't make ice cream." He bent forwards and nipped at her lips, flicking his tongue out at the last minute as if licking a snow cone. "We wouldn't be able to go ice skating. There wouldn't be any snow. No igloos for Eskimo's to live in."

Caitlin huffed against him, an almost laugh that made Barry's heart soar.

"Do you think your powers are bad?"

"What happens to people when I use them is," Caitlin said. "Or what happens after I use them and people leave. It's all bad."

Barry didn't know what to say or feel. Never in all years of having powers had he ever thought of them as bad. Annoying, distracting, useless sometimes but never bad. And if Caitlin thought of her powers negatively then in extreme emotional situations – such as getting intimate with someone – it would take very little for any type of emotion to turn negative and therefore affect her powers even more, compounding the problem.

"What about now?" Barry asked suddenly. "You're using your powers now, is what happening between us bad?"

"No of course not. That's not the point Barry."

"Then let's make it the point," he said and crushed his lips against hers, taking her mouth hard as an idea teased the corners of his mind. When he felt her start to respond he eventually gentled the kiss. "You feel too much, so your powers activate, right?"

"That's what seems to happen."

"So let me make you feel Cait," Barry said. "Let me make you feel everything and you let all your powers out on me. I can take it, it won't hurt me. And when you've felt it all maybe your powers won't feel bad anymore."

Caitlin's eyes widened as she realised what he meant. "I could hurt you."

"Trust me that you won't," Barry replied. "If you can't trust in your own powers trust me in mine that you won't, can't hurt me. I know that to be true, I feel it."

"I feel so much around you already Barry," Caitlin said quietly, so quietly it was almost like a confession he wasn't supposed to hear. But he had heard it and his heart jumped.

"Do you trust me?"

"I shouldn't," Caitlin answered. "I've known you for a month and that's if we include the email contact. I shouldn't trust you in such a short period of time."

"That's your analytical scientist brain talking," Barry smiled at her. "But what do you feel?"

"I trust you," she whispered, biting down hard on her lower lip.

Barry swiped his thumb across her lip, causing her to release it and he leaned in to kiss her, taking it slow. He felt the passion and need for her under his skin but it thrummed now, a constant energy just lying under the surface rather than bolts racing through him at a too-fast pace threatening to take over.

Caitlin was hesitant under his touch at first but soon she was meeting him, angling her head as he angled his, chasing his tongue as he pushed for hers.

He moved his hands, tracing patterns as he pulled her closer, bringing her legs tighter against him as he slowly thrust up making her gasp.

"Let me make you come Cait," Barry said. "Let me make you feel and you can let go of everything, let it overwhelm you. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here with you. Just let yourself feel."

Barry flexed his hips again, grinding his hardness up into Caitlin's core as she clutched at him, gasping for breath. Her nails dug into his shoulders but it only added to the sensations running through him.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to though," Barry added, even as his body screamed out in need, want pulsing in his veins. "This is your call Cait."

Give her time, give her control, and give her reassurance. All the advice circled round his head but in the end it was all that and something else that made him know this was the right thing to do.

"I trust you Caitlin. I trust in you, your powers and my powers. I trust in whatever this is we're feeling between us."

"Barry…" she whispered. "Nobody's been this close to me, touching me since…"

"I don't care about anybody else," he replied. "Just you and me, right here and right now."

"Alright," Caitlin said. "Alright Barry, I'm with you."

"Don't hold back," Barry murmured as he leaned in and kissed her again, starting slow but quickly deepening the kiss, moving against her lips and chasing after her tongue. "Let yourself feel everything."

"Isn't it your job to make me feel?" she asked breathlessly and Barry grinned against her mouth, loving the bravery and strength she had, buried even as it was.

"Challenge accepted."

Barry flipped them before Caitlin could even take her next breath and pushed her beneath him into the sofa. He brought her legs up around him, running his hands up and down them even as he encouraged her to arch against him. He delved his hands underneath her and cupped her bottom, feeling and shaping it as she moved against him and he ground down into her. Their breaths mingled in panted snatches and Barry could feel the cold against his skin but it just spurred him on.

He dropped his head to her neck, kissing and licking at her skin as his hands slipped further underneath her, fingers gently ghosting up and over sensitive flesh. Caitlin gasped and threw her head back, flinging her arms away from him and Barry heard rather than saw ice shoot out across the room. He grazed his teeth along the taut line of her neck as he withdrew his fingers, pressing his crotch down further instead.

Caitlin whimpered and grinded up against him, one of her hands tangling in his hair before she removed it and fisted it instead. Barry reached up and grabbed her hand, uncoiling it from its position and placing it back on his head.

"Let me have everything Cait," he reminded her. "Your hands feel so good in my hair. Tugging on me and grazing my scalp, I love it. I want to feel it."

He smoothed one hand down the arm of the hand he held whilst his other reached in-between their bodies and rubbed over her hardened nipple, playing with it through her bra.

Caitlin's hand flexed in his hair, grasping it in a tight hold as she moved underneath him in jerky motions. Her head was still thrown back and Barry returned to pressing kisses down her throat, sucking at spots she seemed especially sensitive and nipping at the skin at the crease of her shoulder. But as much as her skin delighted him up here he wanted to taste something else.

He slid a little further down the sofa, dragging his body along hers for that lovely feeling of friction. Both his hands came up to her breasts, cupping and shaping them through her bra but that wasn't enough. He pulled the material down and let his mouth cover one whilst his palm covered the other. Ice enclosed around his head from her hand but a quick use of his powers for vibration got rid of it.

Caitlin moaned loudly as his vibrating mouth slid over her breast and Barry jolted as her whole body seized up against him.

He'd never used his powers when making love to someone as he'd never been comfortable enough to try, always scared he'd lose control and hurt them. There had been too many close calls just in the lead up. Hence why he'd joined the programme. But here with Caitlin he could use his powers. He'd thought of them just as part of what he needed to learn to control, for himself and to help her. But what if his powers could add to the experience? What if they could add to her pleasure?

Barry vibrated his tongue and set it against Caitlin's hardened nipple in his mouth, wanting to test his thoughts immediately.

She screamed and bucked up against him, her hand in his hair almost painful in its grip and her other hand clutching at his back desperately.

He groaned against her helplessly, knowing this was all about her but unable to deny the pleasure of her writhing body against him. He thrust his hips as he realigned their bodies, his mouth reaching for hers. Ice shot down his throat as her lips clashed against his but Barry kept vibrating, adding tot eh sensations as their lips moved together, everything caught up in a delicious meeting of friction and desire.

Barry threaded one hand through her hair, cradling her head, changing the angle of their kiss as it became wetter and deeper. His other hand crept down to her hips and in-between their bodies. He traced his fingers over the top of her panties, feeling the wetness through the material.

"Cait," he gasped.

"Please, Barry please," she whimpered, her voice strained and echoed but clear in her words.

He slipped his fingers beneath the material and into the warmth that waited underneath. Here there was no cold and Barry would have said as much if he could have formed words. But all his brain knew to do was kiss and touch.

His fingers stretched out and slipped inside her, two curling up through the moist heat and thrusting inside her. She clenched against him and he pulled back before pushing in again, finding a rhythm and a friction. She gasped against him and cold wafts of air surrounded Barry everywhere, over his lips, down his back, along his shoulders. But it just added to the sensations, tot eh feelings that coursed through him like his lightning. His vibrations shook off the ice and warmed him up and sent heat spiralling into Caitlin.

She screamed again, a short sharp exclamation as he vibrated his fingers and picked up the speed of his thrusts. She was clenching around his every movement now, her body writhing and flexing underneath him, her toes curling at the end of the sofa. Her head was back and thrashing, waves of white streaming through her hair only to turn brown again seconds later. Her eyes were screwed tightly shut, an expression of sheer pleasure etched onto her face.

"Cait," Barry panted, his voice distorted from his vibrations and his hurried breathing. "Cait look at me."

Dazed brown eyes opened and wildly looked up at him.

"Let go," he whispered. "Let it all go for me."

Barry twisted his fingers with a surge of vibration and her eyes flared white. Caitlin bucked upwards and her mouth opened in a silent scream as she orgasmed.

Barry groaned as his fingers were gripped by pulsing internal muscles and he pumped his hand through it, adding to her pleasure as she climaxed around him. Everything about her seemed to freeze and tense up but there was so much heat rolling off them at the same time. Barry worked her through it before gradually slowing the speed of his fingers.

Caitlin dropped her head back and panted heavily as her body calmed and Barry couldn't help but look over her as he gently removed his hand. Her mostly brown hair was fanned out beneath her, her lips were swollen and red, her heaving chest was rubbing her nipples against his chest and her pale long legs were still wrapped tightly around him.

He couldn't help but grin down at her. Ignoring his body and what it desperately wanted, he shifted his hips slightly back from her.

"How did that feel Cait?" he whispered.

Brown eyes, so warm and deep latched onto his and her hand came up to cup his cheek.

"Oh Barry, it felt… I felt everything."

/ / /

AN:

Let me know what you thought of this in a review! We're coming up to some fluff times, as I know we've been more on the angsty side but they're getting through it.


	10. Chapter 10

/ / /

AN:

Thank you for the great reviews! And for those who mentioned it, I did not realise quite how my use of 'let go' as an emotional phrasing was similar to a certain ice-based song until it was pointed out to me. I don't know how I manged to blank on that one. Hope you enjoyed the additional humour it brought even though it was unintentional! ;p

Also thank you for your patience in waiting for this chapter; I had a small accident at work and have only just managed to adjust to the painkillers so I can actually think and not just be woozy.

I hope you enjoy this next instalment and if you could spare a moment to let me know what you think that would be awesome.

/ / /

Barry grinned down at her. "So it felt good?"

"Mm-hmm," she smiled shyly up at him but then her eyes caught on something and her hand suddenly shot up into his hair. "Oh my god, I put icicles in your hair!"

"I'm fine Cait," he said.

"I could have hurt you! I can make really big icicles you know and if one of them had gone into your head that would have been a blunt force injury. I could have easily shattered your skull or caused a hyperther-"

"Caitlin stop," Barry said sternly, gripped her hands in his on either side of her head. "You didn't do any of that. In fact I'd say you barely used your powers at all."

"I can see the ice Barry."

"Yeah, some ice. You don't see the whole room covered in it do you?"

Caitlin lifted her head and quickly looked around the room, then turned back to Barry and shook her head as she bit her lip. Barry just knew she was trying to hold back a smile at the fact that that room wasn't covered in ice.

"So looks like, although you felt _everything_ and it was _good_ ," Barry couldn't quite keep the smug tone out of his voice. "You didn't lose control. You're fine, I'm fine, and the room is fine. All those feelings and you didn't cause anything bad to happen. Pretty good for our first go at this huh?"

"Hmm," Caitlin replied and shifted on the couch underneath him, causing Barry to take in a sharp breath. "I think maybe we should be more thorough before we make a statement like that."

Barry tried very hard to hold back his grin but he felt it stretching across his face; here was the playful Caitlin from their emails. "More thorough how?"

"Well, I've experienced the change in stimulus we proposed and it evidenced a positive correlation between my powers and my emotional responses, therefore proposing a positive result for our aim of today's part of the experiment. But you haven't yet experienced the change in stimuli and therefore testing the correlation between your control and your use of powers," Caitlin said, and then she moved again, shifting her hips up against Barry's, moving her core against his hard erection.

"M-maybe just one of us testing is enough," Barry choked out, grabbing her hips to stop her moving. "What you went through was pretty intense and I know you were worried about it beforehand and I don't want you to think there's any pressure whatsoever for you to-"

Hands slid through his hair and down to his chest cutting off Barry's words.

"Barry," Caitlin said softly. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then let me do this for you," she said. "And for me. I want to experience everything with you so I can keep my control and that means being there for you as well as you being there for me. Being together, in every way, is the only way I'm going to get control back and get some possibility of a future with someone."

"You're going to have a future with someone," Barry said. "You're too amazing not to have that."

Caitlin smiled softly, a real smile and Barry felt that that more than anything else he'd done for her in the last hour, was amazing.

But while he was caught up looking at her face, her hands were moving.

Barry shivered as static trails caressed the skin of his shoulders and back, fingers digging in to muscles as he flexed above her. Caitlin arched herself further back into the sofa, causing her whole body to move against Barry, her chest grazing his and her hips cradling his erection. He grasped her hips tightly in his hands but the movement just brought her harder against him.

"Let me make you come Barry," Caitlin whispered, using his words from earlier against him. "Let me make you feel this time."

Hands threaded through his hair and tugged him down as her lips captured his. Barry groaned helplessly against her mouth as she moved her body underneath his in time to the strokes in his hair, her nails grazing his scalp as her skin rubbed against his body. He gripped her hips harder but was under no illusion that his hands were doing anything other than reacting to her body.

Caitlin lifted her legs and wrapped them around his waist, pushing her feet into him, encouraging him to move with her, to grind their bodies together. Not that he needed much encouragement.

Barry released a hand form her hips, cradling her jaw in his hand as he changed the angle of their kiss, probing deeper as their tongues danced together. Puffs of cold air glanced along his throat as Caitlin gasped in breaths against his mouth but the shock of the cold only heightened his senses, made the touches so much more electric and pronounced.

Caitlin's hands were running all over him, over his shoulders, down his back, ghosting over his backside before sweeping back up into his hair and he couldn't get enough of it.

"Barry," she whispered against his mouth. "You can move, if you need to."

"I'm not going anywhere," he panted into her neck as he kissed along her smooth skin, heading down to her shoulder and then down into the valley between her breasts.

"No, I me- oh, ohhh, I meant you can _move_."

Considering Barry liked to think of himself as the fastest man alive it took him quite a while to catch on to what she meant.

But Caitlin had no problem helping him and went about showing him.

Flexing those fantastic legs of hers Caitlin managed to flip them so she was on top with Barry lying on the couch underneath her. Running her hands down his chest as she slowly rotated her hips against his Barry felt the static charge over his skin and spark against her. Small currents fizzled between them where his lightning had ignited out, dancing along her skin before it met the glimmering power of her ice.

Caitlin slowly moved her hand down in-between them and under his boxer shorts, wrapping her hands around his hard length. Barry groaned as her cold hand pumped up and down on him steadily.

"Barry," Caitlin leaned forward, brushing her breasts against his chest and nipping her teeth against his bottom lip. "Does that feel good?"

All he could do was groan in response.

"I know what could make it feel better."

Barry opened up dazed eyes to stare up at Caitlin, watching her move above him as he felt her hand move against him.

"Speed Barry. Wouldn't moving faster make it better for you?"

"Cait," he gasped.

She kissed him again as she tightened her hand and twisted. Barry's hips seized up into her as pleasure rocketed through him and he couldn't stop what happened next as the need raced through his veins as the blood pumping through his body in one direction carried the promise of ecstasy. Lightning fired his synapses and he began to move, vibrating against her as his body sought to chase the high that was so close.

Caitlin's hand was wrapped around him tight and with the friction of his vibrations moving against her Barry felt his climax building and building. He grabbed her, clashing their mouths together in a desperate kiss as she twisted her hand again and provided the final catalyst for his culmination.

Caitlin moved with him through it, gentling her pumps as his body slowed and then finally relaxed. His harsh breathing echoed around the room as he fought to get oxygen back into his lungs and she moved to slip off him but Barry wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him, not wanting her to go.

What they'd both been through had been so intense and so intimate and all he wanted to do was keep her close while he could. Caitlin seemed to agree as she snuggled down against him, settling her head on his shoulder and gently running her hands up and down his chest. Barry kept his arms wrapped around her tight but let his fingers play, one hand tracing patterns against her skin and the other combing through her hair.

"That was amazing Cait," he said softly after a few minutes. "I haven't been with anyone since my powers activated. I always thought I'd hurt them, with the lightning and the friction."

"And why you joined the programme."

"Yeah."

"I haven't been able to touch anyone in over a year," she said quietly. "But it's been longer than that for intimacy."

Barry tugged her closer, wanting her to know he was here, not hurt and not going anywhere, though he didn't know how to put that in words quite yet. He knew they needed to talk about things, especially about their powers and their intimacies but he didn't want to ruin the moment, didn't want to put pressure on when they were both relaxed and just with each other.

The buzzer trilled through the room and Barry jerked up, not expecting it at all.

"Guess that's our time up," Caitlin said softly.

"Guess so," Barry answered smiling at her. He didn't want to descend into awkwardness but he couldn't think of anything else more to say. There were a million things he wanted to say - about what had happened between them, about what would happen next time, about whether she was really ok, about what this all really meant – but he couldn't think how to put them into words and he did not want to babble his way through this conversation.

Caitlin reached up and squeezed his shoulder, a comforting gesture before she extricated herself from him and started putting on her clothes. Barry moved as well, slowly getting his own clothes back on.

"We'll speak soon," Caitlin said.

"We will?" Barry asked.

"Of course," she answered, her lip firmly pressed down in suppression. "I mean I'll have to send you an evaluation form, score your results for today's experiment."

For a split second horror raced through Barry quicker than his lightning. Then Caitlin's barely suppressed smile and twinkling eyes managed to register in Barry's brain.

"Very funny Cait, but turnabout is fair play. I can score you too."

A second buzzer, this one slightly louder and longer than the first, sounded through the room.

"I think they might want us to leave," Barry said deadpan.

Caitlin burst out laughing and threw her arms around Barry in a tight hug. "Thank you," she whispered. Then she grabbed her bag and went through her door, disappearing on him.

Barry could not get the grin off his face and wondered why he should even try to as he left their room. Last time he'd done this walk he'd been confused and upset, not knowing what he could do but now, now he felt like he could take on the world. No matter what came his way he'd be able to deal with it. He felt the most relaxed and comfortable in his own skin as he'd ever been and he knew that was down to Caitlin and what they had experienced together.

He'd taken on the project for reasons that seemed so important at the time, for a person that had been the most important person to him at the time, but now all he could think about was Caitlin.

His message alert pinged on his phone and Barry reached for it as he walked down the Star Institute corridor, quickly mumbling an apology as he collided with guy in a Star Wars t-shirt. An email was waiting for him on the Star email server and Barry's grin grew even bigger. Guess 'speak soon' really meant soon and Barry had no problem with that.

/ / /


	11. Chapter 11

/ / /

AN:

Thank you for those of you that took the time to review, it really means a lot. Special shout-out and super big amazing thanks and kudos to ShanouNash who leaves such epic brilliant reviews that always make me smile and for being the only one to guess the sneaky mentioned character at the end of last chapter.

Hope you enjoy this next instalment!

Layout notes – emails are in _italics_ and start with the character's 'name'.

/ / /

Barry was running late, it was all Caitlin's fault and if he got caught by the Captain he would really be in for it this time but he found he just didn't care. Rushing round his flat grabbing what he needed for the day all he could think about was yesterday's session and the emails he and Caitlin had exchanged the rest of the night and well into the early hours of the morning.

It wasn't that he needed the sleep, his speed helped him regenerate quicker which meant he could go longer with less sleep, but he hadn't meant to stay up so late that by the time he'd gone to bed he'd then slept through his alarm in the morning. And what about Caitlin? Was she ok this morning? She'd been up just as late as him and to his knowledge her powers weren't regenerative like his.

But it had been an amazing night.

He'd been on such a high after the session, so relaxed and pumped at the same time. Then Caitlin had emailed him straight away and she'd teased him about what number he was on her experiment scale. It was enough to make him want to forget everything about his everyday life and speed straight to her.

Which wouldn't be conductive to his career or the meta-human laws he had to abide by. And could risk the programme legalities he'd agreed to. It was so tempting though, to just run and run until he could find her and then he'd see her now and not have to wait.

But he was learning that his control was not necessarily about the friction or lightning that came with his abilities, but about making himself slow down.

Although right now speeding up was actually key.

Barry grabbed his keys and ran out of his apartment, swerving and dodging around people in the streets as he hurried towards the precinct. Luckily he managed to get there and slip into his lab before anyone could catch him being officially late.

The morning passed in a blur of typing and analysing but thoughts of Caitlin were never far away even as he concentrated on his tasks. He couldn't stop smiling either.

"Someone's in a good mood."

Barry looked up as Joe entered the forensics lab. "That against the law detective?"

"No, but I could probably make a case for cheeky retorts."

Barry shook his head, grin still apparent. "What do you need Joe?"

"Two things. First, I wanted to check in with you," the older man replied. "The other day you were all over the place."

"Yeah I was but you helped that night and then I talked to Felicity too and with the advice you both gave I think I got it figured out."

"Hence the smiling?"

Barry laughed. "Yeah, hence the smiling."

"Good," Joe said. "I like seeing you happy. And it definitely beats meepy you. That guy is as fun as a wet blanket on a cold day."

"Nice metaphor."

"All this?" Joe waved at his face. "Not just a pretty face."

Barry shook his head. "And the second thing?"

"Iris has been nagging about a family dinner and Wally's finally said he's free, but it's tonight. Could you make it?"

"Sure."

"She's probably going to ask about Star Institute," Joe said. "She doesn't know anything about your secret thing you do there but she knows you've been to the place."

"Let her ask," Barry answered. "It's fine by me. She won't hear me say anything bad about Star Institute."

"Ok," Joe nodded, then started wandering around the lab. Another tactic in his get-people-to-talk arsenal; play casual in the surroundings to get your subject off guard. "That's good. Just watch her for the sneaky leading questions." Pause. "And is everything fine with your friend?"

Barry couldn't help the size of his grin. "More than."

Joe stared him down for a moment, as if trying to see right through him, but Barry knew he wouldn't find anything to worry about right now. He usually wore his emotions on his sleeve; today his happiness was just bursting out of him.

"Alright, I'll leave you to your work," Joe finally said. "Seven tonight?"

"I'll be there."

Joe snorted as he walked away. "Yeah, at twenty past maybe."

Barry let that go – Joe would probably be proved right later – and focused back on his work.

He was cataloguing reports of cases where all the evidence had been logged but the crime was still unsolved. There was lots of vandalism, a few robberies and three physical attacks to be typed up for today's records. As he was busy inputting data it took Barry a little while to realise that lots of elements were similar in the vandalism cases and two of the attacks. Could it be the same perp? Or a gang initiation for all the new young recruits wanting to join maybe?

It didn't seem like a coincidence.

Barry trusted his gut about a lot of things and this was giving him the feeling that there was something more here. He made a mental note to bring it up with Joe, whose detective eyes might spot something as well.

By lunchtime Barry was stuck in a monotonous routine; sending off one report, receiving another, updating a case file, receiving the other report back and updating that case file. Paperwork was the side of the job he felt most wearisome. He didn't dislike it – sometimes it was cathartic to get all the results and what they meant down on paper – and he knew it was necessary – without the report a criminal case couldn't be continued. But it was the part of his job that felt the least like he was helping people.

Today though the reports would help him see if there was a pattern to some of the recent incidents like he thought there was. And if there was a pattern then there could be a prediction and that could stop an attack.

A chime on his phone alerted him to a new email and all thoughts of monotony dropped out of his head as he saw it was Star Institute. He quickly saved all files and locked the computers before putting evidence securely away. He grabbed his phone and wallet deciding he might as well grab lunch from the canteen whilst he emailed Caitlin. Getting situated in the quietest corner of the dining area he quickly logged in to his emails.

 _Mr S,_

 _I hope you didn't find yourself getting to work any later than usual this morning after our emails last night. If so, you may blame me. Though if your tales of tardiness are reliable than no-one will need for you to give an excuse. ;)_

 _On reflection of our emails I realise we did not schedule a date for our next programme session and would like to rectify that so we may begin planning. I believe we have a list that needs working through…_

 _KF-lady_

Barry choked on his sandwich at the last line, feeling heat creep up the back of his neck. Ever since she'd written that dame list she'd been torturing him with it and worst of all she didn't even know she was doing it! But the thought of doing those things with Caitlin… Well, it wasn't an appropriate thought to be having at work so he needed to shut that down quick.

And she wanted to meet again for their sessions. He thought things had gone really well – he would even go so far as fantastic - but the relief he felt at her asking for their next session showed him he did have a little bit of worry.

Now what to say back…

 _Hi KF-lady,_

 _I think it might be possible that being late is my super power and the speed is just there to cover it up. I just made it to work on time and as you predicted no-one reacted at all. But thanks for giving me a go-to if I do need an excuse. Heads up I will totally be using you._

 _As for times for sessions, would tomorrow night be too soon?_

 _And I vote for doing everything on that list. Maybe we could arrange it so it's planned – we have the list – but also random; like putting everything on the list in a hat and picking out what we're going to do. That way we can still run it like an experiment but there's an element outside of our control and that in turn could help us push ourselves so we can master our own control._

 _Just an idea, and maybe not even a good one, but as you keep mentioning the list I find myself getting a little distracted…_

 _Mr S_

Barry hit send and finished eating the rest of his food, hoping for a quick reply. If he hadn't already agreed to go to Joe's he would have asked Caitlin about tonight. Though maybe it was a good thing to give themselves a little bit of time between sessions. The last session was very intense. And if they ended up doing what he was suggesting the next session could be just as much so.

 _Mr S,_

 _Tomorrow night is perfectly acceptable and I believe the room should be free at our usual period. We should have enough time to go through half the list I think, providing you can be punctual of course._

 _I think I should try to distract you more, as your suggestion as to how to accomplish the contents of the list is a good one. I shall print it off and you could bring something to pick from?_

 _Have a good evening and see you tomorrow._

 _KF-lady_

Distract him _more_? Barry consciously didn't allow himself to follow through on that thought. The list was bad enough and now she'd agreed to do the rest of it…

Stop thinking. Now.

Right, quick reply then back to work for him.

 _KF-lady,_

 _Brilliant. Have an awesome night and I'll see you tomorrow. I promise I'll try to be on time._

 _Mr S_

Gulping down the rest of his drink and finishing his food Barry knew it was time to focus on other things. Work related would-take-up-all-his-mental-capacity things. Not what-he-could-be-doing-tomorrow-evening things.

He got back to his lab and the rest of the day passed in the usual humdrum of tests, emails and officers or detectives coming in to discuss evidence follow-up.

Barry managed to leave the lab on time and get back to his apartment fairly quickly, once inside he sped through a shower and change of clothes. He grabbed a bottle of wine then shook his head at himself; Iris could be quite particular at what she drank and Joe would just laugh at him bringing something like that. Beer on the other hand, now that would be well received.

Looking at the clock Barry saw he had some time before he needed to leave and so he decided to try and forearm himself against Iris and her questions about Star Institute. He'd looked it up before he'd joined the programme but that had all been information about metas and checking it out scientifically. He hadn't done much about popular opinion on Star.

To say there were negative attitudes towards the institute was putting it mildly. He soon found multiple websites that condemned their work and their representation of metas. Reading through the pages as fast as they'd load Barry soon figured out lots of the objectionable views held against the labs were linked with adverse feelings about metas themselves and that Star Institute was just the focal point of all that. It made him wonder which view Iris was writing about and whether she would be arguing against it or for it.

Thinking of Iris made Barry check the time and just like that he'd lost all track of it and was now late. Saving the websites so he could read them again later Barry grabbed what he needed and ran out the door.

The West house wasn't far away from his apartment and when he arrived everyone else was already there. And nobody even raised an eye as he rushed in all windswept.

"Man Barry," Wally greeted him. "How do you always time it to arrive just as the food is being served?"

"Because that's his true superpower," Iris commented as she walked out of the kitchen carrying a bowl of salad.

"It's lovely you could make it Barry," Cecile greeted.

"I brought drink," Barry said and held up his contribution beer.

"Atta boy," Joe said and readily took the bottles from him. "Grab a seat and we'll dish up straight away."

"Sounds good," Wally exclaimed as he took a place. "I am starving."

"It all looks so good Cecile," Iris said as they all took seats and began passing dishes around, filling up plates.

"Well you can thank the local store," Cecile replied. "I had a case run late so my plan of cooking went out the window."

"You still put it all together," Joe said beaming at her.

Cecile shook her head at him but her eyes were twinkling. Barry grinned to himself as he started to eat. He was so happy Joe and Cecile had found one another. They were just so happy together and had both been through a lot to get to their happy ending with each other.

Barry glanced up at Iris as she started a conversation about workloads and women's perceived home duties and realised he hadn't connected the thought about Joe and Cecile to him and Iris. It was something he usually did, thinking that one day he'd have that with Iris and they'd smile about everything they'd been through to get to where they were. But for once he hadn't thought of her.

Joe and Wally joined in the conversation, the older man being supportive and the younger poking fun at his sister. Barry let the words flow around him, listening and nodding when appropriate but otherwise he just ate.

He'd joined the programme with a specific end goal in mind. But now he was here watching the person linked to that aim and he couldn't envision the happy ever after he always had done.

"Talking about popular opinion versus new research," Iris said, angling her head towards him in what he thought of as classic reporter pose. "I'm doing a piece on Star Institute. Anything you might like to say Barry?"

He saw Joe tense slightly out of the corner of his eye but Barry just shrugged. "Why would I comment?"

"You're a scientist and a meta, and they deal with the science of metas," Iris replied. "And I saw you there yesterday when I was trying to get a meeting arranged with their media spokesperson."

Barry looked up sharply and the rest of the table fell silent. Iris was staring determinedly at him and he knew he wouldn't get away with dodging the question or playing it off. What should he say though? One thing Barry knew for sure was he wasn't about to mention the programme or Caitlin. He'd protect his 'partnership' no matter what.

/ / /

AN:

If you can be awesome and spare the time, let me know what you thought of this in a review. Thank you.


	12. Chapter 12

/ / /

AN:

Thank you for the amazing reviews! I know there wasn't a lot of Caitlin last chapter but she's definitely here in this one. And Barry is starting to realise the reason he joined the programme isn't the reason he's so happy about it…. Also there is a reason Caitlin's POV hasn't been featured a lot and that was planned from the start so hopefully you guys won't mind holding out for when it does come.

Layout note – _Italics_ in this chapter are for dream content.

/ / /

"Well as you just said," Barry replied slowly. "I'm a scientist and a meta. Is there a reason I shouldn't have been there?"

"They don't have the best public opinion right now," Iris said. "I wanted to write a piece on the history of it, how we should challenge perceptions but after the rumours about experiments they're possibly doing, now I want to figure out what's going on. Given how they were linked to the particle accelerator explosion and how metas came about in the first place I think the public deserve to know the truth. What with your job and the sensitivity of meta relations I would have thought you'd avoid being linked with the place."

"What experiments?" Cecile asked, sounding worried.

"Barry's job has got nothing to do with Star Institute," Joe jumped in. "And you're disrespecting him and the department if you think it would have an effect on that."

"That's not what I'm saying Dad," Iris said. "And proof that an article about people's misinterpreted ideas overriding facts would be totally relevant for today's society."

"Ok so tell me the facts you've got," Barry said quickly, not wanting Iris and Joe to get side tracked into a safety over public right of knowledge argument as they had occasionally been known to do so. "What evidence have you got that Star is running experiments on metas?"

"I asked you what you were doing there first," Iris replied.

"Does it matter?" Wally said.

"You would have seen me if you hadn't been so caught up in your phone. You were grinning so goofily and not paying attention to anything around you except it," Iris said. "You've not been yourself lately Barry. And now I get this information about stuff going on and you were there and I'm worried."

Barry sighed as Iris stared right at him with worry in her eyes. He glanced around the table quickly and saw it was replicated in Cecile and Joe's faces. Poor Wally just looked confused.

"You don't need to worry about me Iris," he said gently. "I know I've been having a weird time of it lately but I'm getting through that."

"Ever since the CCPN party we went to you've been off," Iris pressed. "And after what was said on the way home…"

Barry grimaced as he remembered back to that night a couple of months ago. The hope that started the evening when Iris had asked him to go as her plus-one, the plummeting disappointment when she paid him no more attention than usual and flirted with others, and then his own reactionary flirting that ended in disaster and the tough words Iris had said to him.

But if he hadn't experienced that night he would never have signed up for the programme and never met Caitlin…

"A lot happened that night," he answered. "But it's done with now. I'm ok."

"Then what were you doing at Star Institute?" Iris asked again. "Because one of the rumours going around is that they're doing experiments to remove powers."

"They're what?" Barry snapped, incredulous. How could anyone want to give up their powers?

"Is that even possible?" Wally asked.

"It sounds dangerous," Cecile said. "Especially after what had to happen for those who have powers to get them in the first place."

"Iris do you really think Barry would give up his speed?" Joe questioned.

"I don't-" she started to reply.

"No," Barry said hotly. "Never. It's part of who I am now. That you think I would even consider that is-"

"After what I said to you-"

"So just because you said something horrible I would have to change who I am?" Barry bit out. "Gee Iris that's thinking a little too much of yourself isn't it? My life doesn't revolve around you."

"There was a time you wanted it too," Iris retorted angrily. "Don't get mad at me because I care."

"You care now out of misplaced guilt. If you truly cared you'd never have said what you did that night in the first place. You'd never have even had the thought of it," Barry pushed his plate away, no longer feeling hungry. "But that night happened and you did."

Silence reigned around the table as nobody was quite sure what to say. Wally was looking determinedly down at his plate, Cecile was staring at Joe and Joe was looking between the two of them. Barry ran his hands through his hair as Iris watched him with an expression he wasn't sure if was angry or sad.

"You know what?" he said. "It's ok. I needed to hear what you said. And even as soon as a week ago I would have thought for different reasons but I have something I'm doing now that is more important, more special than anything I could have imagined up until now. Iris you're my best friend and I would never want to lose that. So let's forget that night because I am ok and I don't want it worrying you."

"And Star?" she asked.

"I've been to Star Institute," Barry said carefully. "It's not for losing my powers. I am going to keep going there for the foreseeable future as there's something I need to do there."

"What are the rumoured experiments you've heard about?" Joe asked. "If Barry's going there will he be safe?"

"Joe I can take care of myself."

Joe simply looked at Barry, paternal protectiveness etched all over his face.

"The main rumour is about the development of a genetic therapy that would reverse abilities," Iris said. "My source said a bio-engineer started looking into it but it's not an official programme they're working on. Which means it could be nothing or it could be really dangerous as it's all in the hands of one person."

"So Barry just needs to avoid anyone sticking him with a needle," Wally said simply. "You should be fast enough for that right?"

Barry shook his head with a grin at the younger West. Trust Wally to bring some lightness to the situation.

"The other rumour is about experiments to find a meta's weakness," Iris continued. "So that a meta can never get so powerful that they can't be stopped."

"There's laws in draft about meta rights that should protect them from that," Cecile said frowning.

"When this piece was originally pitched I was interested in the opinion side of it. But now I think there's definitely more there."

"Well I'll keep my guard up whilst I'm there," Barry said. "But don't ask me to contribute. I think my opinion will be very subjective."

"Look at you, using big fancy reporting lingo," Wally joked.

"Learnt from my best friend," Barry said and smiled at Iris. It was time to put the past and any possible dreams behind them and move on as just friends, the great friends they were.

Iris smiled back and Barry could almost feel the collective relaxation around the table.

"Did I tell you about the other piece I'm working on?" Iris said as they all began eating again. "It's a sports piece."

"Who let you near the sports section?" Joe asked.

"Uh-oh, watch out for the decline of your favourite bit of the paper Dad," Wally said and then dodged an elbow from his sister.

Barry laughed and helped himself to more food. He felt so much lighter now that he'd cleared the air with Iris and they knew about Star Institute. He'd protected the programme and Caitlin and knew that that was his future going forward. Whatever he got out of it he wasn't going to be held back by anyone here.

The rest of the evening passed in light-hearted ribbing of jobs, as if they all knew there had been enough heaviness discussed. Nothing was serious or emotional but they all had a good time.

Barry felt good as he headed home, able to just let things rest after this evening. Now it would all be about moving forwards with his life.

He got ready for bed and settled in for a night of restful sleep with no big worries.

 _"_ _Help!" A voice screamed, panic and fear reverberating through it._

 _Fire raced everywhere, taking over the building as molotov cocktails were thrown by an angry faceless mob. Barry was jostled in the hostile crowd as he tried to gain his bearings. What was going on? Who was screaming? Why weren't the crowd stopping if they could hear someone in there?_

 _"_ _Barry please help me!" the voice screamed again._

 _Barry fought his way to the front of the crowd and his stomach plummeted as he recognised the now fiery building – Star Institute._

 _"_ _Caitlin," he whispered in horror. "Caitlin!"_

 _He sprang forward and with one motion was inside, standing in the corridor outside their room._

 _"_ _Caitlin where are you?" he screamed._

 _"_ _Barry help!"_

 _He turned at the sound of her voice and there she was, trapped at the end of the corridor by a burning beam._

 _"_ _I'm coming! Try and freeze the flames and then I can get you out!" he called._

 _"_ _Barry I can't! They took my powers!"_

 _Barry stared at Caitlin in shock and fear. If she didn't have her powers she couldn't defend herself, couldn't stop the fire so near to her. He had to do something, had to save her. He wasn't going to lose her. He couldn't._

 _"_ _I'll speed us out then, just hang on!"_

 _"_ _Barry look out!"_

 _Barry turned but he couldn't move fast enough to stop the needle plunging into his arm._

 _"_ _Bye bye meta," a voice growled and then he was thrown backwards down the corridor landing painfully on his side._

 _"_ _Barry!" Caitlin screamed and he turned back to her and watched in slow motion, his speed completely gone, as another roof beam split from the ceiling in flames. But this one was directly above Caitlin and she had no way to move out of its path as it hurtled down towards her._

 _"_ _Ahh!" she screamed and covered her head but it was too little. The last thing Barry saw was Caitlin's face turning away, screwed up in pain and terror as she was engulfed in flames._

 _"_ _NOO!"_

Barry jumped out of bed, his arms outstretched as if reaching for Caitlin the nightmare still blurring the edges of his vision. He panted heavily as he collapsed to the floor. What on earth was that about?

Sweat coated his body as he tried to get his breathing under control and his heart jackhammered in his chest. It was just a nightmare but it had felt so real. And he'd been helpless to stop that mob, helpless to save Star Institute… and Caitlin…

Grabbing his phone he quickly loaded his news app, searching for recent fires. Nothing came up about Star Institute of course and the logical side of his brain rationalised that it wouldn't, he'd had a nightmare is all, but he'd needed to check.

He relaxed slightly seeing there was no news connected to Star Institute directly in the past seven days and was finally able to wake up properly.

What had that been about? Was it from the conversation about Star and the rumoured experiments? But that was a big leap to take from Iris having a source to a mob attacking and killing people. And why had he dreamt about it?

Heading for the shower Barry let the warm water soothe his tense muscles whilst his mind couldn't stop thinking.

Was he actually worried about the opinions of others towards Star? His subconscious could be exploring that through his dream, although in a violent way. Was he worried about what would happen to metas if there was some kind of way to reverse their powers? He knew he'd never want to give up his powers but what if he didn't have a choice?

He'd never really grappled with these questions, not even when first finding out he was a meta. Last night he'd been so focused on resolving things with Iris that maybe he hadn't let himself think about everything else their conversation brought up and what it could possibly mean.

Barry's day didn't get any better from its start.

One of the sequencing machines broke, meaning he had to do all the work with only half his equipment, three reports came back from the DA citing they needed more evidence, the coffee machine broke and his internal landline wouldn't ring so people kept coming up to the lab angry that he wasn't answering his phone.

And he couldn't get the look of Caitlin's fear-stricken face out of his head.

By the end of his day Barry didn't give a damn about anything other than getting to Star Institute and making sure Caitlin was alright. He knew he was wound up about it, knew he was taking the nightmare far too much to heart but he needed to see Caitlin. To see that she was really ok and get the look of a terrified Caitlin out of his head. He needed to hold her and feel her safe against him, not be reaching out for her desperately and knowing he wasn't fast enough to save her.

He was early to Star Institute, so much so that he had to wait outside their room as they weren't ready for him yet. Some people gave him weird looks as he paced up and down the corridor but Barry couldn't bring himself to worry about what they might think of his behaviour.

As soon as he was allowed he was in the room and waiting impatiently for Caitlin. Why wasn't she here yet?

Was something wrong? Had someone gotten to her?

Stop, he ordered himself. It was a nightmare and nothing from it was real. He needed to calm down and get himself under control.

But he couldn't shake the feelings the nightmare had evoked.

The door across from him opened and Barry watched in dumb relief as Caitlin calmly walked into the room.

"Barry?" She looked surprised and he couldn't blame her. "I know I asked for punctual but this is veering on early." She smiled.

She was alright, she was even trying to make a joke. The relief he felt was so out of proportion for what had happened he knew it was beyond rational or explainable. But just as he knew that, he knew he couldn't stop what he would do next.

He was across the room in a split-second crushing her body against his in a fierce hug, his hands running all over her, making sure she was fine.

"Cait," he whispered into her hair, his face buried in the side of her head as he clutched her to him.

"Barry? What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "It's so stupid."

"Doesn't mean you can't talk to me about it," she responded, her hands running up and down his back gently. "What can I do? What do you need?"

"I…" Barry pulled back and looked at her, looked into her face that wasn't full of terror but overflowing with concern, her brown eyes staring deeply into his. "I need you." He whispered and pulled her forward connecting their lips together in a deep kiss.

Caitlin responded readily, her hands that had been soothing on his back now gripping his shirt tightly, a moan rising in her throat as he changed the angle of their kiss. Barry raced his hands everywhere as his lips devoured hers. He wanted to feel every inch of her against him, wanted nothing between them.

He gripped the back of her thighs and lifted her up against him, aligning their cores as Caitlin wrapped her legs around his waist. He pushed his hands up under her shirt, his fingers running over soft skin that heated under his touch.

Caitlin ripped her lips from his, gasping for breath as her body arched against him but Barry didn't need air as much as he needed to feel her. His hands pulled against the material of her shirt and he heard the ripping noise as if from a great distance. His lips found smooth skin and worshipped it as his hands pulled the ruined shirt away. He moved down and suckled at her breasts through her bra even as his hands gripped her bottom and pulled her into him as he grinded into her.

He sped them over to the wall, pining Caitlin against it so he could feel more of her, all of her. His hands moved at lightning speed trying to touch all of her at once. He couldn't stop moving, couldn't stop seeking out more of her to feel. Caitlin dropped her head back against the wall, almost as if surrendering herself to his touch and Barry took full advantage. He shifted back slightly to yank his own shirt off then removed Caitlin's bra so he could feel her nipples graze against his chest as he undulated himself against her.

The pleasure was intense and he was so focused on her he couldn't dwell on his powers. Couldn't think about the control he was supposed to be mastering, too gripped in the emotional fallout of his nightmare to care what his speed was doing. The friction between them as they moved caused sparks to jump off his skin but Caitlin's ice mist was gently surrounding them, nullifying the lightning embers.

Barry grabbed the zipper of her trousers with one hand as the other stroked all over her stomach and he kissed the skin along her collarbone. He delved his fingers into wet heat, pumping fast, letting his fingers vibrate as her moved his mouth to bite and lick at her breasts. He moved again, his lips switching to her other breast as his other hand slipped down to cup her bottom. He sped up, switching his ministrations, moving so fast he barely had begun one caress before he was moving onto another. Caitlin was a coiled spring underneath him, thrumming at every touch, overwhelmed by the sensations as he caressed her body at lightning speed. Without his speed she must be feeling everything at once, overawed by sensations.

"Barry," she gasped. "Barry…. Please…"

He undid his own pants, knowing that no matter how much he touched her and made her dance under him, only feeling Caitlin implode under him, feeling his own climax within her would end this gnawing need.

"Cait," he panted into her skin, his voice an echoing hum as he just couldn't slow himself down.

He just shoved their underwear to the side out of the way and he knew he'd wince at himself later for not being a gentleman about it but nothing mattered now except feeling. With one thrust he buried himself inside her.

Barry cupped Caitlin's head in one hand, brown and white strands of hair slipping through his fingers as he angled her to look at him. Brown eyes dazed with pleasure stared almost sightlessly back at him but he knew she was with him. He pulled his hips back and slammed forwards, pushing Caitlin hard and high against the wall as he settled himself as deep as he could inside her.

As fast as his other hand was moving over her, caressing and cupping her skin, was as slow as his thrusts were, pitching himself between the two contrasting speeds as the pleasure began to build for them both. He felt the lightning coil at the base of his spine and Barry started to move faster, to thrust harder. He vibrated all of himself and Caitlin's eyes snapped closed, head titling back as pleasure swamped over her features. Her hands came up to try and grip his shoulders but she couldn't find purchase. Barry moved his hands to grab hers, pining their interlocked hands above her head, using them as purchase to arch against her more, thrusting deeper.

He felt Caitlin tremble, her entire body tense and Barry slammed his lips against hers, catching her in a deep kiss as her orgasm rocked through her. He kept moving throughout letting its power add to his own climax which followed but mere seconds after hers.

Barry gentled the kiss as he slowed his body and then gently pulled out of her. They were both panting heavily, their breaths mingled and laboured as they used each other to stay upright.

Slowly reason and other thoughts began to form in Barry's brain but before the disgrace of what he'd just done could overtake him fully Caitlin's fingers brushed against his cheek. Their cold touch was a shock against his skin but not an unpleasant one.

"Feel better?" she whispered, a soft look in her eyes.

"Caitlin I-" Barry shook his head. "I don't know what to say."

"How about we go sit down," she said. "And you can say whatever you want, though preferably you'd start with what's wrong so then I can help you."

Barry couldn't help but smile at the amazing woman in front of him, then felt it slowly fall away as he thought back over the last twenty-four hours and all the things that had happened and had led him to his actions of now.

He wanted to protect Caitlin, but did that mean sharing what he possibly knew about Star Institute? About the experiments and metas powers? Or should he just tell her about his nightmare and explain it that way?

What should he say?

/ / /

AN:

Second longest chapter yet! Definitely getting into the nitty gritty of the story now. And next one will pick up exactly from here…


	13. Chapter 13

/ / /

AN:

Thanks for all the follows, favourites and reviews – they're all awesome!

I know some of you felt Barry was a bit OOC last chapter but it was an important plot point for him and does tie in to the story overall, though I don't think we'll see him like that again. Hope you like this next chapter.

/ / /

Barry took a deep breath and nodded. "Ok, let's go sit down and… I'll think of where to start."

He felt incredibly awkward and ashamed as Caitlin pulled what was left of her top around her and headed over to the couch. He quickly tucked himself away but felt even more disgraced as flashes of Caitlin's skin intermingled with memories of what they had done before on that couch caused blood to rush south, even though just moments ago he'd had one of the most powerful orgasms of his life. It was like his body was split into two different entities – one that only felt the physical urges, the other that felt only the emotional.

Caitlin didn't say anything as he slowly composed himself internally whilst externally he sat next to her on the sofa. Not too close so as to be in her personal space but not too far away to be out of reach. It really had to say something about his mental state that he was reading into how he sat down on a couch as a form of communication.

He knew he needed to say something, to start explaining himself but the words whizzed round and round his head without any making their way out of his mouth. He was so focused on trying to force his thoughts into order and make a verbal sentence that the touch of Caitlin's hand against his made him jump.

Gently her fingers traced small circles on the back of his hand, feather-light in their physical pressure but grounding to his soul. She slowly shifted closer on the couch so their sides were touching and then her head rested against his shoulder. It humbled Barry in a way that no words could; here she was, so trusting with her touch when he knew what it must be taking her to reach out.

"Why did you join the programme Caitlin?" he asked suddenly. They weren't the words he wanted but they were a start.

"So I could learn control over my powers during emotional situations, especially those of an intimate nature," she replied slowly. If she was surprised or wondering about his question she didn't show it.

"No, that's not quite… Ah, um," Barry stammered. "I meant… when you joined the programme was there a particular reason why? Like that made you make the decision to join the programme specifically?"

"Oh," she replied softly, the syllable long and drawn out. "Yes. There was an incident and it made me realise I was going to be stuck as Killer Frost for the rest of my life unless I did something about it."

"How did you find out about the programme?"

Caitlin faltered slightly. "Through work."

Barry nodded. "Ok so the thing is… I joined the programme because of a certain person. We had an argument about something on a night not so long ago and on top of that there was some unresolved feelings. Last night I was at a dinner and finally managed to clear the air with this person. Somewhat. But some things came up about Star Institute. When I got home I thought I'd managed to process it all but apparently not, as I ended up having this insane nightmare and I can't seem to get it out of my head." He sighed. "I keep just seeing it, every time I close my eyes its right there, playing out in front of me."

"What happened in your nightmare?" Caitlin asked as she reached out to take his hand properly, intertwining their fingers and drawing comforting circles now into his palm.

"There was a mob outside here, I was standing in it. They were throwing firebombs into the building. I was going to do something. Tell them to stop or something but then there was this screaming and it was you. You were trapped inside. Then I was inside with you and I told you to use your powers but you said you couldn't, that someone had taken them. I was going to speed you out of there but before I could some masked guy injected me with something and then I didn't have my powers either and I couldn't reach you. I tried to get to you as fast as I could but there was fire everywhere and then you were gone. I woke up sweating like crazy and not at all sure what was going on."

Barry took a deep breath. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day and it's just been festering inside my thoughts. I guess I kind of let it rattle me." He turned to look at her. "I'm sorry for just taking you like that. It wasn't very gentlemanly and I shouldn't have acted so fast, especially when I was in a questionable head space. I know I need to work on not letting my speed control my actions."

"It's ok Barry."

"No it's not," he shook his head adamantly, though carefully enough not to dislodge her from his shoulder. "I should never have behaved that way."

"Really it's ok."

"Really, really it's not and I owe you about a million apologies."

Caitlin squeezed his hand. "Shall we agree to disagree and move on?"

Barry shook his head but couldn't keep in the huff of laughter that escaped him. She was smart and loyal and funny… and just something else.

"Although since you can probably talk at super speed as well as move, I'll let you apologise a million times if you do it really fast," Caitlin said, then smiled. "That means it'll only last a few seconds for me right?"

"Right. Then again I could cheat," Barry replied. "You'd never know."

"Is that the kind of a man you are Barry? A cheater?" Caitlin teased.

"No. But I'm also not the man that would have thought he'd do what I did to you just now."

"We've both been through a lot in these sessions," Caitlin said gently. "And it sounds like you had a crazy day leading up to this session. If you had done anything that I was uncomfortable with, I would have let you know." Caitlin lifted her head and leant sideways in front of him so they shared eye contact. "I trust you. You should trust me in that."

"I know but it's not the same."

"Why? Because my trusting you has nothing to do with what your powers can do to me?"

Barry opened his mouth but couldn't find any words so he just stared at Caitlin, not sure what to say.

"You've said your problem with intimacy comes from your speed taking over," Caitlin continued. "That means speed isn't the problem per se but what you're feeling when you speed, and that compromises your control over your speed. Just like when I feel like I'm losing control my powers take over and everything becomes cold and negative."

"You can't view your powers as bad Cait," Barry said.

"I know. You said that to me before and I think I'm starting to understand that and to know that I need to work on it."

Caitlin moved so she was sitting more comfortably and still able to hold Barry's gaze. She didn't let go of his hand and Barry liked the warmth her stroking fingers was causing to gather under his skin.

"What were you feeling when you saw me tonight?" she asked.

"Relief," Barry answered honestly. "I know it was stupid but I was so relieved to see you were alright and not trapped in a burning building. When I arrived I knew everything was ok because Star Institute was fine but I didn't really believe it until I saw you."

"That would be your amygdala, in the right hemisphere of your brain and in charge of emotional processing, overpowering your cerebral cortex, in the left hemisphere of your brain which controls executive functions," Caitlin said. "Not unusual after an intense experience such as a nightmare."

"Okay miss doctor," Barry teased. "What would you prescribe?"

Caitlin quickly dropped his gaze and looked away. "That's a very bad doctor pun you know."

"I know," Barry answered. "But I kind of just went with it. You've given me really good advice so I was trying to follow that with clever word play."

She looked back at him and smiled but Barry could tell it was strained all of a sudden.

"Sorry," Barry said awkwardly.

Caitlin seemed to give herself a little shake and then she faced him again and rolled her eyes. "What is it with you and the apologising?"

"Well I still owe you nine hundred and ninety nine thousand, nine-"

Caitlin burst out laughing and Barry felt himself relax.

"Are we okay?" he asked softly.

Caitlin but her lip but then leaned forward and kissed him gently, a light touch of her lips to his.

"We're good Barry," she whispered, her lips bumping against his as she hadn't pulled away much before speaking.

"Good," he murmured.

Barry didn't move back either and both of them just held there, within a millimetre of touching, as if waiting to see what the moment would bring. He felt there was something else between them now. It was more than the reassurance of safe intimacy, or the crazy static that sparked from their desire; it was a knowing, a depth of feeling.

It could be nothing, just a moment, and they'd move on. Or it could be something. And that something could lead to the start of everything.

Their breaths mingled and fanned across skin as neither of them moved. Barry could almost feel himself going cross-eyed but he couldn't look away from Caitlin, couldn't stop himself from trying to read answers in her deep brown eyes. The question was hovering between them, unspoken but very much heard.

"Maybe…" Caitlin muttered. "Maybe we could try for better."

Barry drew back slightly, confusion and disappointment racing through him. "Better?"

"Better communication," Caitlin answered. "Improved touches." She bit her lip. "I brought the list we discussed."

Heat raced through Barry as his brain helpfully reminded him of the list. It covered up the feeling of loss at their moment. He knew he'd think more on that later but right now his cognitive abilities seemed to be shutting down. That list…

"Did you bring a hat?" Caitlin asked demurely.

A hat? He thought. Oh. Something to pick an activity from. Because they were going to do something from the list.

They were going to do something from the list.

Barry really needed to have another thought than that one but his mind had been through a lot over the last twenty-four hours and now with Caitlin suggesting they still do this… He was a goner.

/ / /


	14. Chapter 14

/ / /

"Uh yeah, I brought my beanie hat?" He said, though with the way his voice lilted it sounded more like a question.

Caitlin smiled as she shook her head. "Want to go get it?"

"Right yeah."

Barry flashed across the room and grabbed his beanie from where he'd dropped in on the floor with his coat when he'd first entered their room. It felt like so much had happened since he'd walked in; he'd gone through both physical and emotional intensities. A quick glance at the wall clock showed they weren't even halfway through their session time.

"I printed off the list I generated and emailed to you before," Caitlin said, grabbing some papers from her bag. "Then cut it into strips and then folded them up so we can't see what's written on it." She held out her handful and he opened up the beanie so they could be dropped in. "Each piece of paper has a sexual act on it that we will perform. We can measure our responses and control, then compare it with our other experiences and see where our conclusions take us about our powers and intimacies." Caitlin looked at him from under her lashes. "And there's still the outstanding rating of course."

Barry grinned, all the anxiety that had built up as she talked dissipating and his body relaxing. He knew there was a scientific basis to what they were doing, agreed with it too, but hearing Caitlin talk like that had made him feel tense and worried. He didn't want her to put up walls around him again. But that little joke, their own private in-joke, showed that wasn't what was happening. It was just the way she thought, and if you could listen to that, then you got to see the real Caitlin; almost like when you got past her ice, you could see just how much of a warm person she was.

"Turnabout's still fair play with that Cait, remember?" he replied. "Now, who's going to pick from the hat?"

"I don't mind. You can."

"No," Barry said. "I think it should be you. I've already had my way this session."

"We'll share it," Caitlin suggested. "I'll go first, if you want. But after that you'll go. We'll take it in turns to make our way through the list until no paper is left."

"Brilliant." Barry held out the beanie to her, eyebrows wagging. "What are we doing today then?"

She went to move towards the hat, then she stopped. "Of course it should be said that if there's any activity either of us does not wish to participate in then we say no and that's it, with a guarantee of no hard feelings."

"Agreed," Barry said, but then couldn't help himself adding. "Do I need to sign a disclaimer?"

Caitlin rolled her eyes. "I think we've covered under our verbal agreement, the programme's retainer, and Star Institute's own policy."

"Wow, you really know Star Institute's private policy?"

Caitlin blanched but then covered it quickly with a smile. Barry wondered what that was about but then Caitlin put her hand into the beanie and rustled around before removing it with one slip of paper clutched between her fingers.

"And the winner is…" she joked feebly. "Oral sex."

"Ah, ok, um great?" Barry said, wondering why talking about it made he feel so nervous when he would happily do it with Caitlin. "So, er, I'll do it… it to you?"

"No," Caitlin said softly, staring at the paper in her hands. "I'll give you oral sex."

"I don't want you to do anything you're uncomfortable with," Barry stated, worried with how she seemed to be only able to look at the paper, and not him.

"It's ok, Barry. I haven't done it for a long time but I can do it. For you."

"Cait-"

"You've helped me with my powers during intimate moments. Time to help you. I'm going to go down on you Barry," she said looking up at him straight in the eye, and the words caused a rush of heat inside him to shoot south. "But you can't use your powers whilst I do. You say you lose control by your speed taking over? Let's try and regulate that." She dropped the paper to the floor and moved closer to him. "But that means you'll have to be verbal, tell me what you're feeling. What you like and don't like. How it seems to be affecting your powers."

Barry gulped as Caitlin reached out and started slowly running her hands up and down his chest as she settled in front of him.

"Think you can manage that?" she murmured as she began to push him backwards gently, directing him to the couch again.

"Y-yeah," Barry stuttered hoarsely, falling back when his legs hit the edge of the seat.

Caitlin let her ruined shirt fall away and Barry's eyes helplessly fell to the sight of her breasts covered by white lace. She moved in-between his legs, pushing them apart so she could kneel in front of him, her hands trailing up and down his thighs as she did.

Barry gripped the couch hard with fisted hands, trying to control his breathing and not pant like someone who had just run a marathon on a whim. He couldn't take his eyes off of Caitlin. Her hands slowly, so slowly, reached for the button on his trousers and then slipped the zipper down on his fly. Heat surged through his body and he could swear there was a static electricity in the air, lightning coiling just under his skin.

"How do you feel Barry?" Caitlin whispered

He tried to answer, he honestly did, but she licked her lips as soon as she asked and her hand was hovering over him, right there. Words failed him completely.

"Bar-ry," Caitlin murmured.

He sucked in a deep breath, ready to try and force words, hopefully something coherent, out of his mouth. But then her hand was on him, wrapped around him, massaging him through his boxers and there went his brain-mouth connection. A loud groan was the only thing he was able to articulate.

Caitlin leant down as she pulled his cock out of his boxer shorts and Barry knew he was watching her from heavy, dilated eyes. He should try and catch her gaze, make sure she was really okay with this, but all he could do was tense as she moved her lips into a perfect 'o' formation and blew across the head of his cock.

"Ahh," Barry groaned loudly.

She wrapped her hand around the base of his cock and slowly dragged it up, tortuously slow.

"You haven't answered my question," she whispered, the breath from her words caressing him.

"I feel- I-" Barry choked out, but he couldn't go any further as Caitlin's tongue flicked out and swiped the very tip of him. "Ohh."

"Do you like the way this feels?" she asked, her breaths hitting against him, her tongue flicking out and her hand, her hand slowly, so slowly moving up and down his cock.

"Yessss," Barry hissed, the top half of his body tensing as he held himself back from moving. The course of lightning that was streaking through him was nearly overwhelming.

"Do you want more?"

"God, Cait-"

Caitlin bit down on her lip and the sight would have been sexy if he didn't know her, if he didn't understand that that was her tell of being unsure.

He reached out and cupped her cheek in his palm. "You don't have to do more," he said as gently as he could; the effect was probably somewhat ruined by his laboured breathing.

"I want to," she answered. "Just if I lose control…."

"Don't worry Cait," Barry answered with a hard smile. "Even if you did start breathing ice, there's no way it could turn into an icicle; there's far too much heat surging down there for that to happen. It'd be like having a lightning rod in your mouth."

"That's a little crass Barry."

"I could make a popsicle joke if you'd rather…"

Caitlin laughed and Barry grinned at her, gently rubbing circles into her skin. How could he be so tuned on, so close to someone physically, intimately, and have feelings stronger than lust? And for those feelings to take precedent.

"I do like popsicles," Caitlin whispered. "I like to lick."

And then she did just that.

Barry clutched back at the couch, gnashing his teeth together as pleasure swept through him as surely as her tongue went up and down. Heat raced through him and his blood surged. Lightning coiled at the base of his spine and the familiar itch to move pulled at his skin.

Caitlin wrapped both hands around him, squeezing the base slowly as her tongue licked and flicked the top of him. She moved at an even and steady pace, her actions intense but keeping to the same momentum. Barry felt opposing forces shoot across his body; pleasure that made his head spin and body tense in one place, and static that primed him and filled him with an energy to _move_.

But as mindless as Caitlin was making him he knew he had to control the itch to speed. He needed to stay in the moment, to allow events to happen around him normally and not speed them up in anyway. Or to take over and hurry things up to suit him and his speed. No matter the situation.

Like right now, with how torturously slow Caitlin was moving.

"Cait please," he begged.

"Do you like that?" she asked as her hands moved on him.

"Yeah."

"What else do you want?"

"I want to _move_ ," he panted.

"I want you to stay right here," she responded huskily. "Right here in the moment with me."

Then Caitlin wrapped her lips around the tip of his cock. Warm, wet suction enveloped him and Barry couldn't do anything but groan loudly in response. He was definitely in the moment with her.

Caitlin slowly worked down his length, encasing more of him into her mouth, sucking as she went. It was an unhurried act, Caitlin going at her own measured pace. Lightning cracked down Barry's spine, arching his back with tension, but he didn't give in to it. He didn't let it control him. All he could do was feel the pleasure Caitlin was giving him.

Gradually Caitlin increased her pace, adding her tongue as she suckled. One of her hands stayed wrapped around his base whilst the other moved to stroke his balls; gentle, feather-light touches that added to his pleasure exponentially.

A different kind of pressure began to build inside Barry, his blood gushing and his cock swelling harder.

"Cait," he gasped, knowing what was coming. He couldn't stop his hand from shooting out and wrapping itself in Caitlin's hair, tilting her head just a little as he lifted his hips.

He came with a loud moan, Caitlin still working up and down his length slowly.

Barry relaxed back against the couch, his breathing still laboured but the rest of his body sated and relaxed. His eyes found Caitlin's and he knew he needed to speak soon as he couldn't convey all of what he wanted to say with just a look.

"You didn't speed," Caitlin said softly.

"I wanted too," Barry admitted. "I felt it pulling at my spine. But I wanted to enjoy it more."

"So you acknowledged your speed inside, but needed to make an affirmed conscious decision to not allow it to take over," Caitlin summarised.

"That makes me sound quite decisive," Barry said after a moment. "I definitely wasn't thinking that well just now."

Caitlin giggled.

Barry smiled at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she answered softly, a warm smile playing on her lips.

The buzzer echoed through the room and Barry inwardly cursed. He kept forgetting about the limited time they had. He would happily stay here all day with Caitlin.

He quickly sat up and began unbuttoning his shirt.

"Um Barry?" Caitlin prompted. "The buzzer means it's time for us to leave?"

"For you," he said simply, holding out his shirt and leaving himself in just an under t-shirt. "And I er, can pay for your one to be repaired or replaced, if you want."

Caitlin took the shirt he offered, as hers was definitely not wearable in public. "Thanks. And don't worry about that, it was just an old work top. Nothing important."

"Will you be ok getting home?"

"I'll be fine Barry."

"Just-"

"You're incredibly sweet, but it's okay."

Caitlin slipped into his shirt, quickly buttoning it and then pulling the loose ends into a tie at the front.

"And you'll be ok here at Star?" Barry asked.

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Just with the rumours about them being able to take metas powers. You'll watch yourself here, make sure nobody asks for a blood sample or to inject you or anything without you knowing why?"

"I thought that was just from your nightmare."

"It was in my nightmare yeah, but it came from my reporter friend who has a source telling her stuff about it," Barry explained.

"How did-"

"I have no idea how it would even work," Barry continued. "But will you make sure you keep an eye out for anything suspicious? I mean it's probably not even a real thing but I just want to make sure you'll be safe."

"Of course," Caitlin answered, frowning to herself.

The buzzer sounded again, louder this time.

"I think we're going to get a reputation," Barry attempted to joke but Caitlin was distracted.

"Email each other?" she said, walking towards her bag. "About next session?"

"Sure, of course," Barry answered and watched Caitlin walk out of the door on her side.

What a weird session, he thought to himself as he left. He knew he should probably take some thinking time to go over everything that was said between them today; they'd mentioned some pretty heavy stuff and he definitely needed to work through the issues within his nightmare. But most of his mental capacity was locked on one thing.

The image of Caitlin in-between his legs, looking up at him with beautiful trusting eyes.

/ / /


	15. Chapter 15

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AN:

Sorry it's been awhile! Firstly Advent Exploits (and its sequels…) took over my life in a way I wasn't expecting it to - a really awesome, amazing way but it did take over - and secondly I've had some health problems I've been dealing with. This story is not forgotten though so here's the next chapter…. Hope you like!

Layout note – in a heading the first initial of a character refers to that section being in their POV.

/ / /

/ B-b-B /

The events of the previous two days caught up with Barry the second he walked into his apartment, with bone-deep, overwhelming exhaustion almost causing him to drop to his knees. He managed to make it to his couch and then just passed out. He woke several hours later surrounded by darkness and the growls of a hungry stomach.

Grabbing whatever he could out of the fridge to make a sandwich he thought how relaxed he felt and knew it was down to his session with Caitlin. Not only did his body feel pleasurably sated but his mind was at ease as well. After the anxiety and dread the nightmare had caused him it was good to feel so light and relaxed.

He wondered if it was too soon to email her?

The session had been intense in every sense of the word. They had been through so much in what was actually a short amount of time. As a speedster time moved differently for Barry, or rather it felt like it moved differently. But even he could admit that what they had been through versus the amount of minutes it had taken would make any comparison graph look insane. It felt like they had made progress though, real progress.

He knew the nightmare had made him react strongly, perhaps even too strongly, but the way Caitlin had understood, the way she had helped him through it was nothing short of amazing. She let him get it all out of his system and then talked it through calmly and offered advice; she showed compassion and understanding without blame or fault. She didn't hold his feelings against him or try to push them away as trivial.

Barry was still a little worried about what Iris had said about Star Institute but at least with Caitlin warned she would be able to be careful in any interactions she had with them through the programme. And once the dust had settled with Iris he could maybe see what her source had actually said, see if it had been twisted in any way and actually meant something else.

That worry couldn't hold a candle to his excitement for their next session though. He hadn't lost control, hadn't let his speed affect himself or his partner, in what had to be one of the – if not _the_ – best, most powerful sexual experiences of his life. With Caitlin he was doing exactly what the programme had offered him; mastering control of his abilities in intimate situations. The possibilities this opened up for his life was endless – he no longer had to worry about being alone and not being able to be in a committed relationship.

He wondered what Caitlin thought about that…

Barry glanced at his phone, sitting innocently on the countertop but knew it was too early to message. First thing in the morning, he promised himself, then he would email. And find out when he would see her next and what they would be doing.

Cleaning up his mess and shutting of the lights, he headed to bed properly. With the memories of Caitlin fresh in his mind, the way she looked, the way she felt, the feelings she inspired in him, Barry knew he wouldn't be having nightmares tonight. His dreams would be sweet and full of his beautiful icy partner, he was sure.

/ C-c-C /

She should have put it in the laundry as soon as she got home, but instead it was still wrapped around her shoulders, encasing her in his scent. Cursing herself for being all sorts of a fool didn't help. Caitlin couldn't take Barry's shirt off.

It was a comfort in so many ways.

A reminder of Barry and how he seemed to want her, both physically and emotionally. There was no denying the passion he felt for her, not when her work shirt was in ruins from his hands. And the fact he'd wanted her to have his, showed a caring that went beyond just what they could do for each other's bodies. She supposed she should be annoyed at his actions, maybe even outraged on a feminist level of some sort, but Caitlin had never been desired like that before. She had never had someone want her so bad that they couldn't contain themselves. The way her body felt when he touched her, it was almost indescribable, and that Barry seemed to feel the same in return was something she wasn't sure she wanted to put an emotion to yet; it was far too dangerous to let herself hope.

Put that together with her inability to hurt him with her ice and that he'd helped so much with her learning why her powers triggered _and_ being able to start to control said powers, and Caitlin knew she'd see Barry as her own personal hero for the rest of her life.

But that line of thinking led to some much more difficult considerations.

Caitlin tried to list them all in her head, playing with the fabric of the shirt sleeve, creasing and smoothing it as a distracting comfort; Barry only knew her because of the programme, and they only had a limited number of session together through said programme; She needed to be able to control herself in all situations and not just with one amazing man; The nightmare he had about Star Institute performing meta testing might be based in fact; He obviously cared a lot about this other person and was possibly doing all this to go back to them; and, Caitlin was finding it harder and harder to think of him and what they were doing objectively.

She needed to talk it through with someone but she wasn't sure Cisco was a good choice for this. He knew about the programme of course and had been a huge help in keeping her calm and confident about it. He didn't always agree but he had always been supportive, especially since seeing how she'd become slightly more confident in her physical attitudes of touch since the sessions had started. But Caitlin was pretty sure if she went to him to ask for a sounding board about how her emotions were becoming involved and conflicted because of the programme he would tell her how he was right to mistrust it from the start. Or he'd freak that she wanted to talk about girlie stuff. It could go either way really.

She supposed she could ask Liza from a drink, see if she could bring it up in ambiguous conversation and get some general advice.

Her fingers tingled and Caitlin looked down to see ice mist around her hands, a physical manifestation of her troubled thoughts. Instead of willing it away thought Caitlin focused in on it, trying to send it this way and that. She was alone in her apartment, she couldn't hurt anyone. With Barry's shirt wrapped around her it was almost like he was there with her and she just knew he'd whisper encouraging words, help her play with her powers this way to garner more control.

As her fingers moved and an icy mist spread in the air, Caitlin's mind went to a very naughty place, imagining just what type of play she could experience with Barry…

She needed to get back to the science of this. She needed to get back to her rules and regulations. She needed to not let her objectivity be ruined by feelings of lust or ….

No, just lust. She wasn't even going to consider any other feelings.

/

AN:

Hoped you like! Please let me know any thoughts in a review, I am so grateful for any feedback.

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